Bryan Derballa/via Vice

[Hipster Puppies joke.]

​Vice's Fashion Week Party
Westway
Wednesday, February 8

Better than: Not getting into the secret Skrillex show.

Last night, the line to get into West Village's middle-of-nowhere dance club Westway wrapped around one block in one direction of the door and down two blocks in the other. The strip club-turned-scenester hangout was hosting Vice's Fashion Week party and "doggie fashion show," you see. And despite the maddening flurries of snow and confusion surrounding the mobbed door, hundreds of hip hopefuls braved the cold and, more importantly, the shame of being seen waiting in line at a party where "knowing someone" is the only way you're getting in. The media entrance was no less of a clusterfuck either; the line hosted at least seventy fashion writers, party-o-graphing tumblrers, and nightlife bloggers. (Shout out to GuestOfAGuestOfAGuest.com.)

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​Yes, the downer&b outfit The Weeknd pulled out of this Thursday's Full Frontal Vice party (and subsequently sulked about it because being popular is hard, you guys), but that doesn't mean the festivities have been called off—in fact, it's still on Skylight One Hanson's calendar, and now there's a new headliner: Rick Ross. Upgrade? Downgrade? Your call! The rest of the bill's rounded out by A-Trak, Death From Above 1979, Tanlines (who seem pretty psyched about their newly minted opening-act duties), Unknown Mortal Orchestra, a DJ set by Nick Zinner, and lots of other highly bloggable acts. RSVP here; flyer below.

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M.I.A. and Die Antwoord, respectively; you'll never guess who was better. All pics by Rebecca Smeyne, way more below.

​I'm still not 100 percent sure what the Creators Project is, exactly, other than a perfectly fine excuse to cram a ton of big-shot artists (and Salem!), a few film screenings (Spike Jonze!), and multiple tremendously colorful and technologically imposing art exhibits (The xx: A Sculpture of the Album!) into multiple floors of Milk Studios Saturday, providing lucky guests with plenty of shit to point their iPhones at. Luckily our own Rebecca Smeyne has a slightly better camera. Here, a mostly visual recap of the overwhelmingly hip proceedings.

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​Last time this happened, Vice blew threw $250,000 and Titus Andronicus's Patrick Stickles ended up with red handprints on his neck and a sad, outraged story to tell. This time, semiconductor manufacturing unit Intel will foot the bill, and it's hard to imagine crazed South African rappers Die Antwoord being much fazed by a surly bouncer. Those dudes would seem to be the most exotic musicians on the bill for Vice's free Creators Project New York show June 26th, which also features locals Gang Gang Dance and Sleigh Bells, a newly revamped Interpol, Mark Ronson, Neon Indian, the Rapture, Salem, and "very special guests." Why not guess M.I.A. for that last one, in order to complete the chillwave-downtown-joke rap zeitgeist trifecta? Register here; ogle endless pictures of cute girls from the announcement event over at Brooklyn Vegan, where the hipsters/coke/Rapture-are-still-a-band? jokes are already well underway down in the comments section. [Creators Project]

​Pick a favorite line here. Mine's "This was ten years ago, when there were millions of people walking around with nothing to look at. Crowds would gather at car crashes or domestic arguments." Or maybe "Privately, we were the Homeboy, the Homo, and the Home Wrecker." Or "So I get vilified on national radio: 'How could you do that!" "They're happily married!" "Foreign devil!'" Though don't discount "We went back to Melbourne for a bit and auditioned for a new token white guy." Alright, you get the idea. Not sure if this says more about China, boy bands, or Vice, but there's plenty of info on all three.

​So Vampire Weekend has the number one record in the country, and now Vice's VBS.TV will claim a prominent spot on CNN's website, presumably somewhere near the Indie Asia: On Tour With the Handsome Furs Sub Pop-produced travel featurette CNN is already hosting. Insert scandalized, risque reference to Vice's "Bukkake On MY Face: Welcome to the Ancient Tradition of the Japanese Facial" or to the Handsome Furs' porny promo shots. Or just admit that this makes tons of sense for all sorts of reasons, not least because VBS.TV's documentary game is very much on the up and up and it's not like it costs anything to follow a couple of earnest and engaged band hipsters around China. We are old and our youth culture is just Culture now, period, and the sooner we admit that the sooner we can dispense with all this exhausting mock outrage. Or are people genuinely surprised by this? [h/t Free Williamsburg]

​Where to begin here. 7,500 words by (sometime SOTC contributor and friend) Sam McPheeters on an old bandmate who just happens to have become a major force in New York dining. Topics covered include the weird agony of seeing someone you knew in a past life successfully do something wildly different; the paradox of the vegetarian chef (and the loophole in that paradox that is dessert); the many different ways and different worlds in which a person can sell out; and, poignantly, what happens to punk habits in cold light of life's rearview mirror:

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Let this be the final word on that 15th anniversary Halloween bash. All that's missing is a bloody nose. [@VICEMAG]

all photos by Rebecca Smeyne

David Yow, Halloween saviour

Jesus Lizard
Bad Brains
Empty warehouse, North 10th Street
Saturday, October 31

So you go to the much-ballyhooed Vice Halloween Party, the 15th anniversary bash in Williamsburg that the lifestyle brand reportedly dropped $250,000 to throw. You dress up, by the press release's official request, as a cultural cliche from 1994 (the year the magazine began, hence the anniversary, duh), and stand in a frustratingly long line that you would in no other circumstance bother with, because if you wanted to pretend you needed toilet paper in Communist Russia, you'd go to Disneyland, for fuck's sake, this is bullshit.

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