Colt Cabana's 15 Favorite Songs About Wrestling

Clayton Hauck
Colt Cabana
Independent wresting icon Colt Cabana has had quite the year. Outside of the unfortunate hurdle of almost losing his finger (which lead #SaveColtsFinger to trend worldwide) he's continued to be a force in the worlds of wrestling, comedy and podcasting. As wrestling's unofficial pop culture ambassador, he returns to Brooklyn this Saturday night, October 12th, to face Ted Dibiase Jr. in his first match after leaving the WWE for FWE's Openweight Grand Prix (8 p.m., St. Patrick's Gym, 9511 4th Ave.) as well as a comedy performance on November 21st as part of the Insane Clown Posse affiliate Kevin Gill's Rocks Off Pro Wrestling Film Festival with New York comedians Mike Lawrence and Chris Gethard.

Colt's impact on social media entertainment has been seen in both his Worst Promo Ever comedy shorts and his weekly The Art of Wrestling podcast, and the latter features a song of the week. Colt compiled 15 of his all time favorite tribute songs to professional wrestlers for us and shared his thoughts.

See also: Five Action Bronson Wrestling References Explained

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Beyoncé Isn't Perfect, and That's A Relief

There are a few people--maybe ten--who have yet to hear that Beyoncé Ashlee Simpson'd Barack Obama's inauguration. These people don't have access to tumblr or eccentric gay friends. They are still under the illusion that Beyonce is infallible. We pity these people. Because the idea that Beyoncé is perfect is a crippling load to carry. And on inauguration day, it wasn't just citizens of the United States below the Mason-Dixon Line who were utterly devastated. Beyonce fans were, too. Because it had yet to come out that her performance wasn't not flawless. Now, we too are free.

See also:

- Great Googly Moogly, This Beyonce/Lady Gaga Video For "Telephone"
- Let Us All Now Enjoy "The 10 Most Ridiculous Things About the Beyoncé Experience"

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Beyond Lil B And His Cat Keke: A History Of Rapping Animals

Lil B and Keke

Last week, bizarro rapper Lil B released what he claimed was the first song to feature a real live animal rapping when he recorded his domestic short-hair Keke and uploaded the footage to YouTube. (Warning: You probably need to be hopped up on some sort of special ADHD medicine to appreciate its nuances.) Before Lil B brought his cat to the studio though, there exists an esteemed history behind the idea of rapping animals, whether through the wonders of animation or impersonation. Here's a quick play-session through the vault.

See also:
- Six Very Important Interactions Between Rappers And Dogs
- Pictures Of Rappers' Cats, and a Snoop Dogg Feline Bombshell!

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Can My Left Tit Make New York Laugh Again?

Astoria-based My Left Tit, purveyors of honest musical filth

It's a tough time for music with a sense of humor. An earnest wave of boring indie bands has just tried to ruin CMJ (like they do every year), their beards matted with their own knob-slobber and playing the kind of music that wins first prize in a dick-shrinking contest. Then Hurricane Sandy left a wave of devastation and loss that turned all pop
culture into a giant Sarah McLachlan tragedy montage.

But this city likes a laugh, and if you appreciate a good novelty joke band in these storm-shaken times, My Left Tit may be your speed.

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Colt Cabana: A Wrestler Grapples With His Entrance Music

colt voice.jpg
Clayton Hauck
Professional Wrestler Colt Cabana

The life of an independent professional wrestler is busy enough, but for Colt Cabana, squaring off in the ring is only the beginning. A wrestler, actor (you may have seen him with legendary Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka in a recent Old Navy commercial), stand-up comic, and popular podcaster, his talents have brought him all over the world (including The Gathering of the Juggalos). He comes to Brooklyn's St. Patrick's Gym tonight to wrestle Mike Bennett as part of Family Wrestling Entertainment's Back 2 Brooklyn internet pay-per-view (8 p.m. on where fans will come unglued the moment they hear his entrance music. While "Boom Boom," an original theme written specifically for Cabana by Chicago rapper Kidd Russell, has become his signature soundtrack, his journey through the world of wrestling themes has been a long and adventurous one.

See Also:

- The Copacabana Is Reopening In July
- Grappling With Homosexuality - Professional Wrestling: Simultaneously Homoerotic and Homophobic
- Q&A: GZA On Wrestling, etc.

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Dear Beloit College: 1994 Was Also A Good Year For "Women Of This Generation" To Be Rock Stars

Courtney Love, facepalming on behalf of all of us.
"Good music programmers are rock stars to the women of this generation, just as guitar players were for their mothers."
—From the Beloit College Mindset List, in which two dudes at a Wisconsin college attempt to get a bead on What The Freshmen Class Might Be Thinking via the making of a list with claims both rooted in fact and, er, less so. This item—No. 41 on the list, which is crafted with people born in the year 1994 in mind—stuck out in particular, since 1994 was also a year in which quite a few women made their own stamp on the pop, rock, and R&B worlds, proving that they didn't need to flutter their eyes and faint over men in order to participate in the musical agora. (Also, what does "music programmers" mean, anyway? People who decide what gets played on radio stations?) Below, an extremely partial list of songs that, after I recovered from my rage blackout, immediately came to mind and fueled my anger so much I almost passed out all over again.

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What Should James Murphy Call His New Store?

Ruvan Wijesooriya
Local Businessman James Murphy

Sound Of The City associate Ryan Dombal has an interview with former (sigh) LCD Soundsystem mastermind James Murphy over at Pitchfork. It's a good read, filled with all kinds of intriguing hints for what we can expect from the multi-hyphenated Murphy in the future.

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BREAKING: Music Festival Attendees Do Drugs

Megan Morris/Flickr
Each one of these tents? FULL OF DRUGS.
"Officially, Bonnaroo forbids drugs. Unofficially, all kinds of drugs were as easy to find as the ice cream. Marijuana was most prevalent. As at many festivals and rock concerts, the usual laws seem not to apply; transactions that could lead to a prison term on city streets are conducted openly here. "
The Times blows the lid off the whole "people doing drugs at Bonnaroo" story with a tsk-tsky op-ed by self-proclaimed "eclectic listener" Carrie Jerrell, who makes the above observation. Elsewhere in the piece, you'd better believe there's a Woodstock comparison! And it invokes a Kennedy in the following manner: "The kids didn't know who he was. They didn't care. They just wanted to hear more music." Kids today, am I right? I bet you everyone at Woodstock paid attention to every last political word uttered from that stage!

Chiddy From Chiddy Bang Is Saying Literally Anything Right Now

Right now, Chidera Anamege--a.k.a. Chiddy from the Philly rap duo Chiddy Bang--is attempting to break the world record for longest freestyle rap. He started at 2:43 PM EDT, so he'll have to rap until midnight tonight to surpass the previous holder, the Indianapolis rapper M-Eighty, who rapped for 9 hours, 15 minutes, and 15 seconds back in 2009.

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WNBC Blows The Lid Off The Whole Auto-Tune Story

"From Ke$ha to Indie singer Bon Iver to reality sensations like Rebecca Black and Real Housewife Kim Zolciak," notes WNBC reporter Katie Tur, "artists across the board are using Auto-Tune -- that handy audio tool that makes even the most dreadful voices sound musical -- and other devices to either stylize or subtly smooth out tracks." This was an actual segment on last night's newscast--which aired right after NBC's much-hyped debut of The Voice--and its main point seemed to hinge on the fact that Tur can't really sing, but she can sound like a pop star with a little bit of computer assistance. Hey, maybe her warbly cover of "American Girl" will go as viral as Rebecca Black did! That should help out NBC, right?

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