Top Gangsters Unrepentant

Big deal that the government has just rounded up a huge number of 20th century goombahs named "Fat Tony" or the like. We're still waiting for the roundup of the government's own 21st century gangsters, George "Dubya" Bush and Richard "Dick" Cheney.

Even before we're getting them out of our system, Bush and Cheney are getting it out of their system. Both of them let it all hang out this week at the Conservative Political Action Conference, Cheney yesterday and Bush today. Defiant to the last, Bush even used the word "philosophy" and Cheney invoked a "Damn right."

We already knew what they really thought. While we're waiting for these two to finally leave, let's take a look at the alleged mob figures indicted Wednesday by a federal grand jury in Manhattan. Actually, all we have to do is look at the monikers of these goombahs. Here they are, from the first four pages of the indictment:

"Elmo"
"Jerry"
"Tommy Sneakers"
"Charlie Canig"
"Joe Rackets"
"Lanza"
"Italian Dom"
"Dominic"
"Dom from 18th Avenue"
"The Greaseball"
"Joe Marco Polo"
"JoJo"
"Miserable"
"Nicky"
"Little Nicky"
"The Doctor"
"The Little Guy"
"Seymour"
"Grandpa"
"Grandfather"
"Jackie the Nose"
"Jackie"
"Vinny Hot"
"Lenny"
"L"
"The Conductor"
"Nike"
"Uncle"
"Fatso"
"Vinny"
"Skinny"
"Mike"
"Mikey"
"Marbles"
"Bobby the Jew"
"One Eye"
"Dead Eye"
"Russ"
"Joe Gag"
"Han"
"Buckwheat"
"Ernie"
"Eyes"
"Baldy"
"Stevie I"
"John"
"Simon"
"Herman"
"Alan"
"Cheeks"
"Anthony Firehawk"
"Anthony Nighthawk"
"Nighthawk"
"Firehawk"
"Tony O"
"Big Guy"
"Tall Guy"
"Treetop"
"Top"
"Jamesie"
"Bob"
"Vinny Basile"
"Johnny Red Rose"
"Gino"
"Fat Richie"
"Big Richie"
"Joe"
"Richie"
"Rich"
"John Reeg"
"Reeg"
"Ang"
"Little Ang"
"Junior"
"Gus"
"Gus Boy"
"Billy"
"Big Billy"
"Eddie"
"Mike the Electrician"
"Frankie"
"Big Tara"