Running down the press:
Times: 'Judge Rules Bush Advisers Can’t Ignore Subpoenas'
Looks as though George W. Bush — the hangingest governor in U.S. history — will have even more miscreants to pardon this December.
Post: 'FUR-CLOSURE: FAT CAT PUSS-'N'-BOOTED OVER MORTGAGE WOES''
The Post gets serious and covers the recession:
New TV-star kitty "Princess Chunk"
is not a stray — but just another victim of the cat-astrophic mortgage crisis.
The original owner of the country's most famous fat cat said she gave up the tubby tabby — which, by the way, turns out to be a boy — only after she lost her home to creditors.
Adbusters: 'Hipster: The Dead End of Western Civilization'
You know, like, duck and cover, NYC hipsters! Douglas Haddow's cover story in the new issue of the culture jammers' Vancouver-based mag starts:
We've reached a point in our civilization where counterculture has mutated into a self-obsessed aesthetic vacuum. So while hipsterdom is the end product of all prior countercultures, it’s been stripped of its subversion and originality.
Key excerpt from the article in the anti-affluenza mag:
Ever since the Allies bombed the Axis into submission, Western civilization has had a succession of counter-culture movements that have energetically challenged the status quo. Each successive decade of the post-war era has seen it smash social standards, riot and fight to revolutionize every aspect of music, art, government and civil society.
But after punk was plasticized and hip hop lost its impetus for social change, all of the formerly dominant streams of “counter-culture” have merged together. Now, one mutating, trans-Atlantic melting pot of styles, tastes and behavior has come to define the generally indefinable idea of the “Hipster.”
An artificial appropriation of different styles from different eras, the hipster represents the end of Western civilization – a culture lost in the superficiality of its past and unable to create any new meaning. Not only is it unsustainable, it is suicidal. While previous youth movements have challenged the dysfunction and decadence of their elders, today we have the “hipster” – a youth subculture that mirrors the doomed shallowness of mainstream society.
See the video of Adbusters founder Kalle Lasn — probably the most influential Estonian on the planet — being interviewed by CNN in 2006 about the dangers of shopping. Read the November 2007 Times story about Adbusters' annual "Buy Nothing Day."
Fast forward to today: Williamsburg is now under red alert!
Times: 'More Arrows Seen Pointing to a Recession'
We've had those arrows in our heads for quite a while, but now it's official because the Times says so. Put Grandpa aboard the Model-T, Tom Joad!
Times: 'Couch Mouse to Mr. Mighty by Pills Alone'
Lively phrases in a Times hed! Too bad the most-boring-heds-in-town Timespeople didn't tweak it to "Couch Mouse to Mighty Mouse by Pills Alone." Story sez:
Research on mice suggests that pills could trick the muscles into thinking they have been exercising.
Post: 'JERK TOOK BIG BUCKS INSTEAD OF CUSTODY'
Finally, a soberquet for Clark Rockefeller — "jerk" is a sedate and relatively hard-newsy word for this mousy Clark Went character, compared with the Post's previous "Rockefooler"-type monikers. The lede:
The mysterious phony Rockefeller who kidnapped his daughter off a Boston street was paid a "significant" amount of money from his ex-wife to disappear — and gave up custody of the girl without a fight, a source familiar with the settlement told the Post yesterday.
The Green Bay Packers have made a similar offer to Brett Favre if he'll just give up custody of the QB job.
Post: 'SCHNOOK, I WANT SNOOKS!: MOM BEGS 'KIDNAP' MOCKEFELLER TO RETURN DAUGHTER'
On the other hand ... the Post hasn't lost its touch on its other piece about this monumentally unimportant story.
You won't see "schnook" in any Des Moines Register headline about, say, the Rubashkins. Only in New York, kids, only in New York.
Post: 'CHARLIE DUCKS SLAP IN APARTMENT FLAP'
Ezra Pound would've liked how the scansion turned out in this hed for the BFD Charlie Rangel "scandal."
Post: ' "DRAGGED" OUT OF ROCK CTR.'
That's no way to treat a lady.
Two dozen drag queens say they were tossed out of Rockefeller Center because of their flamboyant outfits.
"They told us we couldn't take pictures there - in Rockefeller Center. We said there were a lot of other people taking pictures, but they told us we couldn't," said one of the cross cross-dressers, who asked to be identified by his show name, Indiana Jones.
Better first sentence would've been: "That's no way to treat New York City's royalty."
Hassling New Yorkers because they're too flamboyant? What are we, Des Moines? If the queens had been smoking, Bloomberg would've probably had them thrown into jail.
Daily News: 'Harlem man nabbed for poison rant on YouTube'
A deranged Manhattan pothead set off panic by posting Internet videos claiming he got Gerber employees to poison millions of bottles of baby food, federal prosecutors say.
But where's the link to the rant itself?! Not in the Daily News story, as far as I can tell. Here's a video about the rant.
Don't worry, you couch tubers: YouTube's "Farting in Public" videographer hasn't been punished.
Daily News: 'LA chief Bratton: Pap laws "farce" with Britney "behaving" '
The lede of the latest story featuring former NYPD cop Bill Bratton:
Fed-up celebs are snapping back at aggressive paparazzi with calls for tougher laws — but L.A.'s top cop says things have calmed down since Britney Spears "started wearing clothes."
Hey, celebs, there's no such thing for you as bad publicity. Stop with the pap smears.