Alert! Bernie Madoff will be a no-show at Friday's meeting of creditors. Leave your guns at home.

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Love the note at the Madoff Trustee Site about Friday's "Meeting of Creditors" in the auditorium of U.S. Bankruptcy Court in lower Manhattan:

Due to the fact that this case involves a criminal matter, the Trustee does not expect that any member of pre-liquidation management of BLMIS will be present for examination.

The monster won't be there. So, villagers, leave your torches at home. And that goes for your whips, chains, guns, and cudgels, too. And also the sick and helpless Americans who depended on their organizations' investments with Madoff. Don't bring them, because, as court-appointed trustee Irving Picard also notes:

Meeting attendees are encouraged to arrive early as the Auditorium and overflow rooms have a limited seating capacity of 460 and attendees are required to pass through a security checkpoint before being admitted to the building.

For those of you who didn't get snookered by Bernie, BLMIS stands for "Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities." Of course, the "investments" may not have existed, and if they did, they weren't secure.

One more note: Cash will not be handed out at this meeting.

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