Plans are moving apace to purposely set up a "toxic bank" full of poisonous assets to further bail out those banks that had greedily and recklessly accumulated them.

Call it Shitibank. And give it the naming rights to the new baseball stadium for the New York Mets, taking the moniker away from toxic Citibank.

No joke. As Ground Zero reminds us of 9/11, ShitiField would serve as a monument to the global financial meltdown caused by New Yorkers. ShitiField would remind us to burst any future Wall Street bubbles before they blow up in our faces.

And, once the toxic bank is up and running, we proles can move our non-existent pension money to it. But don't count on driving a new Nissan to the new bank: Even if you could afford to buy one, Nissan can't afford to keep its factories open to manufacture one.

What's really going to happen this week sounds just as far-fetched, but it's not: Many investors on Wall Street don't want the market to recover. They want it to hit bottom so they can start buying shares and companies again.

Bigwig Ray Dalio of the hedge fund Bridgewater Associates tells Barron's:

Meanwhile, corporate welfare is humming along, as government's sudden socialists are coming to the rescue of capitalism. Heartwarming, especially for the likes of Nissan, which, as the Wall Street Journal reports, plans to "seek government assistance from Japan, the U.S. and elsewhere."

And now the rescue plan for America calls for a combination of the toxic bank and encouragement by the government for hedge funds to profit from the grief by expanding their investments (instead of the government's clawing back ill-gained profits from hedge funds). And don't worry about Wall Street's top execs: All the scoldings by President Barack Obama won't stop them from making their big bucks. See? The free-market system does work.

At least we know that defense contractors will make it through the depression in good shape. Bibi Netanyahu is about to reclaim control of Israel, and that will signal that, as the BBC reports, "Israel is shifting to the right" and, as the Daily News says, "a harder line is coming with Israel's Arab neighbors."

Could the line get any harder, you ask?

While you're investing in weapons makers or just waiting to pour your money back into the market or snap up some ailing companies, click on these...

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Seeking Alpha: 'U.S. Government vs. the Stock Market'

Gawker: 'Top Five Kellogg's Recipes For Stoners'

N.Y. Times: 'U.S. Bank Bailout to Rely in Part on Private Money'

N.Y. Times: 'Applications Surge at Cooper Union'

Newsday: 'Explore LI: Pamper your pooch'

Wall Street Journal: 'Bailout Revamp Could Use Private Bank for Bad Assets'

Seeking Alpha: 'Investors Staying Away from Banks; Gold Attempts to Break Downtrend'

N.Y. Times: 'Leader of Afghanistan Finds Himself Hero No More'

Fox: 'Australian PM: "It's Mass Murder"'

Wall Street Journal: 'Bank Bailout Plan Revamped'

N.Y. Post: 'E. HARLEM FIRE DEATH'

Forbes: 'Nissan To Ax 20,000 After Loss Warning'

Wall Street Journal: 'Saks Upended Luxury Market'

Fox: 'Stimulus Plan Includes Billions for Colleges and Students'

N.Y. Times: 'In Congress, Aides Start to Map Talks on Stimulus'

N.Y. Daily News: 'One BIG question remains: Who ratted out Alex Rodriguez?'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Netanyahu: the Golan Heights 'will remain in our hands'

Fox: 'Octuplets' Grandmother Calls Daughter's Actions 'Unconscionable"'

N.Y. Post: ''ROID-RIGUEZ IN HALL OF SHAME: TOOK 2 DRUGS THEN GOT TIPPED OFF TO MLB TESTS'

N.Y. Daily News: 'GOP's losses just might save party, says Lazio'

Bloomberg: 'MGM Doubles Down on Lobbying as U.S. Senators Work on Stimulus Measure'

Jewish Daily Forward: 'Jewish Charities Look to Stimulus Bill To Stave Off Cuts'

Onion: 'Per Tradition, Ex-Presidents Watch Obamas Christen White House Bed'

Crain's New York Business: 'Parents question mayor's math'

Wall Street Journal: 'U.S. Weighs Fed Program to Loosen Lending'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Mike to GOP: Miss me, baby?'

N.Y. Times: '2008 Taxes: Big changes may come in expanded tax breaks to the less wealthy'

CNN: 'Man, 47, marries girl, 8'

Wall Street Journal: 'Pay Collars Won't Hold Back Wall Street's Big Dogs'

N.Y. Post: 'RAGING PENSION FIRE'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Bloody mob chop shop could become school bus depot'

N.Y. Post: '3 DEAD IN BLOODY UPPER WEST SIDE SLAY-SUICIDE'

Wall Street Journal: 'Soaring Job Losses Drive Stimulus Deal'

Bloomberg: 'U.S. Said to Hire N.Y. Bankruptcy Lawyers to Advise on Automakers' Bailout'

New Yorker: 'Can We Transform the Auto-Industrial Society?'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Final nails in coffin for city welfare burial fund'

Wall Street Journal: 'Railing Against the Rich: A Great American Tradition'

Crain's New York Business: 'NYC, London vie for the bottom'

Bloomberg: 'Fed Calls Emergency Consultants to Triage and Treat AIG, Stricken Markets'

Wall Street Journal: 'Summers Crafts Broad Role in Reshaping Economy'

Onion: 'Liberals Horrified By Lack Of Inexperience Among Obama Appointees'

Bloomberg: 'Notre Dame Cathedral, Louis XIV Chateau Reap Bonanza From France's Crisis'

Bloomberg: 'India Bucks Global Auto Trend After Rate Cuts Spur Record Sales at Suzuki'

IRIN: 'Homeless Gazans struggle to find shelter'

Perhaps the most entertaining part of the House hearing, yes. But while the New York Democrat yelled at the SEC, whistleblower Harry Markopolos spoke more softly but cut deeper the day before.

Ackerman's five minutes of fame passed the audio-visual test, but not the smell test.

The SEC deserves harsh criticism. But when it comes to the Madoff scandal — and the role of the SEC in trying to control Wall Street's conniving bankers — Congress stinks it up too by consistently undermining the SEC.

More on that in a minute, but first, more on Ackerman:

There are 14,000 brokerage accounts that make up the latest list of Madoff's victims — "Swindler's List," as L.A.'s Jewish Journal and others call it — and 2,000 of them are Long Island-based, Newsday reports. That's one in seven, and the largest cluster of Long Island suckers — 600 of them — is in Great Neck. And Great Neck is one of the most influential towns in Ackerman's Congressional district, which stretches along Long Island Sound's "Gold Coast" of rich people. Nassau County itself is the nation's 10th-richest county.

Yesterday, I pointed out Ackerman's standing as an ardent loyalist of the Jewish lobby AIPAC loyalist (and a past recipient of campaign money from Madoff). And Madoff, as we well know, leaned heavily on his own Jewishness.

Philip Weiss (the former Observer columnist who got hounded out of there because he dared to write provocatively about Israel) noted that in December 2008 in "Madoff and the Israel lobby." Weiss quoted one of his readers as remarking that "the Madoff event may be the greatest example of intelligent people being blinded by ethnocentrism I've ever seen."

It's no wonder that Ackerman was so pissed off at the SEC. He couldn't blame Madoff's wealthy victims, who, after all, are his constituents. He may not have known that Madoff himself was a monumental goniff, but he and other Jewish Democrats knew very well who the prominent party fundraiser was. No-brainer that Ackerman put on a good TV show; no brains if you think it's consequential news.

Instead of looking at the cameras, Ackerman should be looking in the mirror, notes Seeking Alpha, the largest stock-market blog (and hailed in 2007 by Time as one of the top 50 websites).

The New York-based outlet aimed at investors puts the blame where much of it should be. In "Congress Should Look in the Mirror Before Attacking the SEC," GT McDuffy notes:

McDuffy is just getting warmed up. And I'm going to include a lengthy excerpt. Just as James Lieber's must-read "Up in Smoke: What Cooked the World's Economy?" in my own paper probed and poked at Wall Street's machinations, McDuffy jabs at Congress for its role in the fiasco.

The differing perspectives of the two pieces sketch a good portrait of the Wall Street crime scene. Ackerman's incredulity was phony, as McDuffy's credible screed points out. Hence, this long excerpt from McDuffy:

You don't have to be Jewish to understand where much of the blame for the Madoff scandal and other Wall Street shenanigans should be levied.

Congressman Gary Ackerman's rip-snorting attack on the SEC for not catching Bernie Madoff's scam is good entertainment, but it's only bluster to impress his constituents who got took.

Still, it's not a bad dog-and-pony show from a congressman who used to take campaign contributions from Madoff, as federal records show.

Despite his spot as vice-chair of a subcommittee overseeing the SEC (which presupposes that he had an interest in Wall Street's functioning before he assumed that post), Ackerman showed practically no interest in the SEC's operations until the current Wall Street meltdown.

An examination of bills sponsored by the longtime but relatively low-ranking congressman reveals few measures relating to the SEC. Actually, I could find only one or two, and they were recent. (Please, Gary, correct me if I'm wrong.)

Who should really care what these House members say to the SEC? They're just posturing. The real can of whup-ass was opened yesterday by whistleblower Harry Markopolos.

Ackerman's own blistering attack on the sitting-duck SEC officials is easily explained: The congressman represents parts of Queens and Long Island, but he also represents conservative Jews across the country and in Israel as one of Jewish-hawk lobby AIPAC's most ardent loyalists. Madoff's scam deeply cut into that constituency of Ackerman's. Shouting "Shonda!" at the SEC should keep him in good stead with those folks.

He may not have been too active on the SEC front until recently, but Ackerman has over the years introduced a slew of bills at the behest of AIPAC and even the Israeli government.

Not to mention the fact (which I'll mention again) that, back in the '90s, Madoff himself (also a Democrat and ardent supporter of Israel's government) gave Ackerman $1,200 in campaign donations.

Known as a social-issues liberal but a firm friend of Israel's hawks, Ackerman did Israel's and AIPAC's bidding last May, as Ira Glunts noted last summer:

Ackerman's middling career in Congress has been dominated by his continual introduction of measures aggressively favorable to Israel. See the Jewish Daily Forward for a 2006 account of Ackerman's power as an extension of AIPAC in Congress. Too bad he wasn't focused more on the SEC back then.

Almost lost amid the usual knee-jerk preaching to the choir that is the 21st century Nation are a couple of excellent stories — one of them scolds Barack Obama for relying on such dubious characters as economist/erstwhile Harvard prexy Larry Summers, and the other roasts Abe Foxman of the Anti-Defamation League.

In "Never Say You're Sorry," Christopher Hayes points out the clay feats of Obama economic-world appointees Summers and Gary Gensler.

In "The Defamation League," Eric Alterman takes Foxman to task for the latter's astonishing blast at Bill Moyers, who had the audacity to suggest that Palestinians are people, too. (See Foxman's rip and Moyers's response.)

Really juicy in Alterman's piece is this passage:

Hmmm...Kristol has exited the Times's op-ed page. He probably wanted to pursue other opportunities.

Hayes's lively piece on Obama's appointees even throws in a couple of apt sports metaphors. More importantly, Hayes dredges up some valuable history regarding both Gensler and Summers.

In doing so, he doesn't spare the Clinton Administration from its disastrous destruction of the Glass-Steagall Act, a strict banking law from the last Depression that, had it remained in place, would probably have prevented Wall Street from creating the current Depression.

I've harangued about Glass-Steagall's repeal many times, but Betsy L. Angert said it more gracefully in an item last year:

Also see Frontline's "The Long Demise of Glass-Steagall."

Further proof of the schizophrenic media culture: Despite the widespread political correctness that infects discourse on numerous topics, Governor David Paterson keeps getting hammered because his eyes don't work right.

Israel's ever-increasing crackdown on Arabs (the most ludicrous new idea is an Israeli-controlled 30-mile-long tunnel connecting Arab enclaves ) is the apartheid that dares not speak its name — at least most of the U.S. media don't dare speak of it.

But Paterson continues to get blistered because of his bad eyesight, which he can't help and which, after all, doesn't make him a more hapless and mediocre accidental governor.

As the Post says this morning:

On the other hand, Paterson does seem to have blinders on when it comes to the outrageous Wall Street bonuses. As the Gothamist noted in mid-December, before Barack Obama scolded Wall Street:

Nothing personal, but what Paterson fails to see is that the state loses far more gelt by not taxing hedge fund goniffs' pay.

Check out "NYC hedge fund profits show tax system flaw--study," a Reuters story from last April that noted:

Now see these stories...

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

N.Y. Post: 'GOV DISS IN BLIND "SPOTS": SIGHTLESS GUY RIPS DAVE IN TV AD'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Sky dive horror for newbie as instructor dies mid-jump'

N.Y. Post: 'TAX HIKES ON WEALTHY BAD FOR STATE: GOV'

Bloomberg: 'Macy's Slashes 7,000 Jobs'

N.Y. Daily News: 'President Obama: If stimulus fails, I'm out in 4 years'

Crain's New York Business: 'Longer notice now needed for layoffs in NY'

Bloomberg: 'Obama's Foreclosure-Relief Plan May Offer Government Guarantees for Loans'

N.Y. Post: 'SUPER SULLY: I WAS PLANE NERVOUS INSIDE'

New Yorker: 'The Financial Page Hazardous Materials?' (James Surowiecki)

Wall Street Journal: 'Shoe Thrower Targets Wen At Cambridge'

New York: 'Trouble in Stuy Town: The crash of a real-estate Utopia'

Harper's: 'News From Nowhere: Iceland's polite dystopia'

Bloomberg: 'UBS Lures Brokers From Goldman, Morgan Stanley With "Super-Sized" Bonuses'

Wall Street Journal: 'Citi Explores Mets Deal Exit'

Wall Street Journal: 'Policy Makers Weigh Derivatives Oversight'

Onion: 'Cheney Dunk Tank Raises $800 Billion For Nation'

New York Review of Books: 'Pakistan in Peril' (William Dalrymple) [PODCAST]

Atlantic: 'The Man in the Middle'

Wall Street Journal: 'Lobbyists Raise Stimulus Price Tag'

N.Y. Post: 'PILOT UNION CRIES FOWL OVER DELAY OF BIRD RADAR'

Time: 'The Tide Shifting Against the Death Penalty'

Wall Street Journal: 'Iraq Waste Repeated in Afghanistan'

N.Y. Post: 'SHOCK AND GNAW: BLOOMY IS FINGER FOOD FOR CRANKY GROUNDHOG'

Jewish Daily Forward: 'Barak: Build Tunnel Linking West Bank and Gaza'

New York Review of Books: 'Google & the Future of Books'

N.Y. Post: 'SI RACIST GUILTY'

Salon: 'The Leaderless GOP: Sorry, Republican bosses, Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh are in charge. And there's nothing you can do about it.'

New York Review of Books: 'How We Were Ruined & What We Can Do'

Bloomberg: 'Netanyahu Gains as Lieberman Makes Him Appear 'Less Hawkish"'

'A Lonely Lament From a Whistle-Blower'

From the Wall Street Journal:

Wall Street Journal: 'Aggrieved Investors Turn Sights to Banks'

Wall Street Journal: 'Madoff Victims Find Support'

Veering off-topic from the global meltdown, Turkey's prime minister had his own meltdown today at Davos. See the CNBC video above and then read this BBC report, which captures only a bare hint of the full explosion:

That is, a president who's finally trying to persuade Hebrews.

George Mitchell, chatting last April at Leeds Met in the U.K. about brokering peace deals.

With just a few big steps, Barack Obama has erased George W. Bush's plodding steps in the Middle East sands.

After eight years of an administration that slavishly followed a pro-Israel bias, thanks mostly to the presence of dual-disloyalists like Doug Feith, Obama has jumped in with both feet — and right in the middle.

Whether Obama will leave a lasting impression won't be known for a while, of course, but the hawkish U.S. Jewish establishment has taken notice.

For a change, it seems, a U.S. president didn't consult the powerful Jewish establishment lobby before trying to change tack.

Not that Hillary Clinton and Dennis Ross are anti-Israel — far from it. (Ross, in fact, is somewhat of a hardline pro-Israel Jew.) Obama isn't intent on pissing off the right-wing Jewish establishment's leaders, but it has to shake them that the new president threw the Arab world an olive branch with his al-Arabiya interview and with his choice as envoy of George Mitchell, who's not known for any particular pro-Israel bias.

These are not moves that were first vetted by the hawkish U.S. Jewish establishment.

You have to go beyond the mainstream U.S. press to try to gauge what's happening in the Middle East. A good source is the New York-based Jewish Telegraphic Agency, which is sort of the Associated Press for Jews.

In "Mitchell's questions may matter more than his past answers," the JTA's Ron Kampeas notes that Mitchell issued a 2001 report on the Arab-Israeli death dance.

Mitchell is one of many who have already tried and failed to broker a peace. But it wasn't for lack of effort. Haaretz recalls:

OK, zero for two. But now he has the support of a president who — it seems — intends to do something. So the JTA's Kampeas writes:

The truth so far is that no one knows for sure where the U.S. administration stands. To actually have an administration that is leaving both sides guessing is a big step. And it's smart strategy to keep both sides from either counting on or counting against U.S. support. That's called diplomacy.

Pumped up from his experience as chief investigator of steroids abuse in baseball, George Mitchell is now in for some really heavy lifting: the testosterone-laden, rage-filled Arab-Jew death dance in the Middle East.

No coincidence that Mitchell's arrival in the region as President Barack Obama's peacemaker was accompanied by a flareup of violence.

In the former Maine senator's baseball probe, few of the players would even talk to him, so he relied heavily on former Mets batboy Kirk Radomski.

This time, however, he'll be dealing with some people who throw serious heat — rocks, rockets, white phosphorus — and everybody will be talking all at once. Whether they'll listen to him is another thing.

But he has experience in cutting in on partners locked in death dances: Mitchell won praise a decade ago for helping to hammer out an accord in Northern Ireland.

If he has any success at all in the Middle East, Mitchell will get more than just a feather in his cap. He would indeed replace James G. Blaine in the history books as the plumed knight from Maine.

Meanwhile, in other business...

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Village Voice: 'What Cooked the World's Economy? It wasn't your overdue mortgage.' (James Lieber)

Time: 'Is California the State Closest to Economic Ruin?'

N.Y. Post: 'NY HOME$ IN RECORD PLUNGE'

Wall Street Journal: 'Unemployment Rises in Every State: Joblessness Is Worst Where Housing, Manufacturing Are in Trouble, but Spreading Fast'

N.Y. Post: 'AXED DAD SLAUGHTERS FAMILY'

Bloomberg: 'Pfizer's Wyeth Purchase Puts New Jersey Town's Jobs, Taxes, Deli in Peril'

Time: 'The GOP Grapples with Obama's Charm Offensive'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Taxpayers' running tab on Yankee Stadium parkland'

N.Y. Post: 'LI "PONZI" BIG HIRED PRISON CHURCH CON'

N.Y. Times: 'Iranian Leader Demands U.S. Apology'

Time: 'How Al-Arabiya Got the Obama Interview'

N.Y. Post: 'FAULTY DOORS HAVE SUBWAYS OFF-TRACK'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Top execs still living like kings' (Juan Gonzalez)

New Yorker: 'Ms. Kennedy Regrets: Why Caroline Kennedy dropped out'

N.Y. Times: 'Rove Subpoenaed on U.S. Attorneys'

N.Y. Post: 'SCHUMER: MOVE SEC TO NEW YORK'

Harper's: 'Weekly Review'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Blabbering Blagojevich turns to puppy talk'

Bloomberg: 'Bankruptcy Lawyers Seek $18.50 a Minute as Creditors' Recoveries Shrink'

N.Y. Post: 'UNHAPPY MEAL: EXECS NOW DINING AT MCDONALD'S'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Blowfish testicles poison diners'

Wall Street Journal: 'Novartis Posts 70% Rise in Net'

Bloomberg: 'Obama Broadband Plan Is Too Small, Has Too Many Conditions, Companies Say'

Wall Street Journal: 'Flare-Up Tests Mideast Truce as Mitchell Arrives'

Wall Street Journal: 'Medics Say They Were Blocked from Hard-Hit Gaza Village'

Bloomberg: 'Pakistani Crackdown on Mumbai Attack Suspects Leaves Imams Preaching Jihad'

Wall Street Journal: 'Illinois Senators Hear Blagojevich's Taped Conversations'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Times Square hotel tops list of dirtiest hotels in America'

Wall Street Journal: 'Barclays Chiefs Join Growing List of Davos No-Shows'

Bloomberg: 'Schwarzman Pledges "Wonderful Time" for Buyouts as Wealth Drops $7 Billion'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Defendant hurls human feces at jury'

Bloomberg: 'Olympic Bailout Puts Vancouver Taxpayers on Alert for a Montreal "Big Owe"'

Wall Street Journal: 'Davos: Is Capitalism, as We Know It, Dead?'

Bloomberg: 'TARP Bank Shares Index Losses Are Four Times the S&P 500's'

Bloomberg: 'Mack Tells Wife He May "Lose" Morgan Stanley Before Staking All on Brokers'

Wall Street Journal: 'Bill Clinton Speech Fees Topped $4.7 Million in '08'

Wall Street Journal: 'High Priest of Sex and Suburbia'

'Gay vs. Madoff'

Tommy De Seno's Jersey Shore Blog offers a math lesson:

Wall Street Journal: 'Perjury Charges Being Considered: SEC Officials Believe Madoff Lied to Them During Past Examinations'

Securities Docket: 'Testimony of SEC's Linda Thomsen Before Senate Banking Committee (Madoff Matter)'

Bloomberg: 'Madoff Enablers Winked at Suspected Front-Running'

Wall Street Journal: 'In Echoes Of Madoff, Ponzi Cases Proliferate'

Dick Cheney's dream of an imperial vice presidency lording over all the world's oil fields is now officially dead.

President Barack Obama snuffed it out during his first formal interview on Arabic TV. He did it with Al-Arabiya, not Al Jazeera, but it's a stunning change from the bellicose Bush regime, as this excerpt from the AP proves:

You mean not all Muslims are bomb-throwers? And you can blast the ones who are while still pressuring the ones who aren't? And you can even put pressure on Jews to start making nice? What an unusual thing for a U.S. president to say.

Slow on the uptake this morning was the New York Times, this country's version of Al Jazeera. Several hours after the rest of the world noted the Obama interview on Al-Arabiya, the Times makes it truly official with "Obama Interview Signals New Tone in Relations With Islam."

Now, if Obama's people could start working quietly behind the scenes to get U.S. media goniffs to start carrying Al Jazeera on their cable systems.

Then, he could actually do an interview on Al Jazeera, and most Americans could watch it.

While you're waiting for the cable guys, start clicking...

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

N.Y. Times: 'Layoffs Spread to More Sectors of the Economy'

N.Y. Daily News: '"Stalker" grilled in slaying of Eddy Curry's ex'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Firefighter blames memory-loss on "mind-altering" drugs'

N.Y. Times: '"Crack Babies": The Epidemic That Wasn't'

Wall Street Journal: 'Obama's EPA Move Likely to Spur Fight'

Jewish Daily Forward: 'J Street's Disappearing Gaza Statement'

ABC: 'Obama Chooses Arab Network for First TV Interview'

Wall Street Journal: 'College Endowments Plunge'

N.Y. Times: 'In Midtown, the Return of a Barfly's Paradise'

N.Y. Post: 'OBAMA & CONGRESS BLAST CITI OVER JET'

N.Y. Times: 'At $235 Million, Bloomberg Was Biggest Giver in U.S.'

Wall Street Journal: 'Caterpillar to Cut 20,000 Jobs'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Blago: I considered Oprah for Senate'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Commodities trader arrested after trying to start a fire inside 7 World Trade Center'

Wall Street Journal: 'Democrats Subpoena Rove, Testing Their Clout and Obama'

N.Y. Daily News: '"It's horrible ... I want out," Rikers guard held in beating cries from her jail cell'

N.Y. Post: 'CELL THIEVES RIDING RAILS'

N.Y. Times: 'Queens Man Dies in House Amid Disarray and Flames'

CityFile: 'Your Tax Dollars at Work: Citi's $50 Million Jet'

N.Y. Post: 'RACIST BRUTE PLEADS GUILTY'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Grifter claims NYPD officer paid him $5,000 to kill ex-wife'

Wall Street Journal: 'Afghan Guards Confound U.S. Forces'

Jewish Daily Forward: '"Schmooz Me Timbers!": John Derbyshire's Jewish Pirate Lexicon'

N.Y. Post: 'CEO'S "$100" PAD IS A TOUGH SELL: FOES RIP LEHMAN BIG'S SNEAKY $14M ESTATE DEAL'

CityFile: 'Lower East Side: Now Featuring One Hotel Per Block'

N.Y. Post: 'SHUL BE SORRY, TORAH THIEF'

'Bernie Cheated at Golf, Conference Goers Say'

From Clusterstock's Henry Blodget:

N.Y. Post: 'CONGRESS TO GRILL SEC BIGS OVER MADOFF'

N.Y. Daily News: 'LI has its very own "Madoff," feds charge'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Celebrity side dish'

Financial Times (U.K.): 'Lawyers plan global action on Madoff'

Wall Street Journal: 'Madoff Questions Dog Santander's Botín'

Wall Street Journal: 'Madoff's Firm Lays Off Dozens'

Jewish Daily Forward: 'Discussing Madoff'

As Chico Marx said, "Who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?"

That's easy when it comes to Gaza. The Jewish state's brutal use of white phosphorus — alleged over the weekend by observers on the ground dispatched by NYC-based Human Rights Watch — is lighting up the landscape.

However, most of the U.S. press (a notable recent exception is Newsweek) has its usual blind spot when it comes to Israel's war on Gaza. As the Daily News noted late last week in "'Concentration camp' Gaza stirs fire":

Confirming that is Human Rights Watch, whose observers belie Hikind's claim that the brutality in Gaza is propaganda.

In fact, it's even worse than the cardinal says, according to HRW.

You question the watchdog group's credibility? HRW broke several major stories of U.S. atrocities in Iraq — including the horrific tale of the American soldiers in Fallujah who proudly called themselves the "Murderous Maniacs" and admitted to kicking the shit out of Iraqis just for the fun of it. (See my September 2005 item "U.S. Soldiers Reveal New Torture Tales.")

Now, here's what HRW says about what's going on:

If the Nazis had had white phosphorus — the 21st century version of napalm — they would have used it against the Jews.

Now for less bad news...

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

N.Y. Times: 'Adding to Recession's Pain, Thousands to Lose Jobless Benefits'

Wall Street Journal: 'Retail Bankruptcy Wave Expected'

N.Y. Times: 'Storm Sinks Indonesian Ferry, 250 Feared Dead'

Bloomberg: 'U.S. Consumers Keep Autos Longer, Shun Showrooms as Cuts in Payrolls Mount'

N.Y. Post: 'INFANT DUMPED IN B'KLYN'

N.Y. Post: 'Sex, Drugs & Death at Luxe Hotel'

Wall Street Journal: 'Obama Plans To Keep Estate Tax'

N.Y. Times: 'Obama Signals His Reluctance to Look Into Bush Policies'

N.Y. Times: 'Democrats Look for Ways to Undo Late Bush Administration Rules'

Harper's: 'The $10 trillion hangover: Paying the price for eight years of Bush' (Joseph E. Stiglitz and Linda J. Bilmes)

N.Y. Post: 'ISRAEL VS. B'KLYN IN FAKE-AND-BAKE MATZO WAR'

Wall Street Journal: 'New Playing Field In Electric Car Push'

N.Y. Post: 'PLACARD BLITZ NAILS DA COPS: PARKING-PERK ABUSERS'

N.Y. Times: 'In Emphasis on Economy, Obama Looks to History'

Harper's: 'A Farewell to Dick Cheney'

Harper's: 'Harper's Index: A retrospective of the Bush era'

Bloomberg: 'Paulson Bailout Fails to Give Taxpayers Buffett's Terms With Goldman Sachs'

Salon: 'Bill Moyers on Israel/Gaza' (Glenn Greenwald)

N.Y. Times: 'Citi Is Urged to Replace Chairman'

Newsweek: 'If Obama is Serious: He should get tough with Israel' (Aaron David Miller)

N.Y. Post: 'PATERSON JOINS ISRAEL SUPPORTERS IN MIDTOWN'

Jewish Daily Forward: 'Eyeless in Israel'

N.Y. Times: 'Few in U.S. See Jazeera's Coverage of Gaza War'

Jewish Daily Forward: 'Timeline: The Gaza Strip, From Disengagement to Operation Cast Lead'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Israel hints at end of Gaza operations'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Analysis: Ceasefire hinges on Egypt closing smuggling routes'

New Republic: 'Can Labor Revive the American Dream?'

Jewish Daily Forward: 'If at First You Don't Succeed: Hasidic Singer, Subject of Rabbinic Ban, Tries Again'

Jewish Daily Forward: 'What Happens to Gaza When the Fighting Stops?'

Nation: 'Moral Blindness on Gaza' (Robert Scheer)

Jewish Daily Forward: 'Fact or Fiction?: The Story of the Fake Holocaust Memoir'

N.Y. Daily News: 'ABC's hidden cameras unveil anti-immigrant prejudice'

Investment News: 'Morgan Stanley, Citi in retail merger talks'

Nation: 'Israel: Boycott, Divest, Sanction' (Naomi Klein)

Nation: 'Toward Peace in Gaza'

Investment News: 'Rubin retires from Citi'

Nation: 'Caroline and Me' (Katha Pollitt)

Nation: 'Obama Anoints Kaine, Praises (And Snubs?) Dean'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Big shakeup at fatal psych ward'

'"Victims" of Madoff Scandal Do Math, Realize They Profited'

From Fox News: "Hundreds and maybe thousands of investors in Madoff's funds have been withdrawing money from their accounts for many years. In many cases, those investors have withdrawn far more than their principal investment." And more:

N.Y. Daily News: 'Madoff vics: Let him rot in jail'

N.Y. Times: 'Eight Years of Madoffs' (Frank Rich)

Wall Street Journal: 'Madoff Prosecutors Push Back Deadline'

Jewish Daily Forward: 'AJCongress Crippled by Madoff Scandal'

Newsday: '"Hellishly hot" sauce dedicated to Bernard Madoff'

Wall Street Journal: 'New Ponzi Case Pursued'

Gothamist: 'Bernie's Weekend at Home, Before Judge's Decision'

N.Y. Times: 'GMAC Chairman With Ties to Madoff Steps Down'

Gawker: 'Marc Rich Lost "Insignificant" Millions to Madoff'

N.Y. Times: 'New Description of Timing on Madoff's Confession'

Wall Street Journal: 'Madoff Brother, at Arm's Length?: Peter Was No. 2 and Close to Bernard; Investigators Now Scrutinizing Role'

Crain's New York Business: 'Bernie Madoff's bagman had everything to lose'

Wall Street Journal: 'Funds of Funds & Madoff: "Like Presiding Over the Long-Term Funeral"'

Advanced Trading: 'Fund-of-Hedge Funds Lacked Technology to Avoid Madoff Losses'

Investment News: 'Madoff scam hurts Mackenzie Financial'

HedgeFund.net: 'Activist Gunning For Yeshiva Board'

HedgeFund.net: 'Commentary From Our Publisher: Bernie, We Hardly Knew Ya'

HedgeFund.net: 'Merkin Liquidation Stymied By NYU'

HedgeFund.net: 'Woman Tied to Madoff in Hiding'