You load 16 tons and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt. But the standard weights and measures are so out of whack that, in Britain, 20 billion of their pounds probably won't outweigh those 16 tons that Wall Street's bankers carelessly offloaded on us.

At least the Brits are trying, even though it means even more debt. Yes, there's big news from Parliament today: a $30 billion stimulus plan to bail out commoners. But you wouldn't know it by the U.S. press outlets, most of which grossly underplayed the Labor government's scheme announced by Chancellor Alistair Darling.

No Henry Paulson, he. In the slowest race on record, the British beat us to a bailout of ordinary folk from the crisis dumped on us by Wall Street's collapse (check out the Guardian's "Obama v Darling: the plans compared" video.)

Over here, Barack Obama won't even commit to rescinding George W. Bush's brazen tax cuts for the rich that his handlers enacted in the early daze of the current GOP regime.

And the American way, apparently, is to talk about helping "consumers" — that's how we suckers are viewed by Wall Street types like Paulson, according to our press (see the New York Post's "Paulson Works to Ease Consumer Credit Crunch.")

Paulson wants to help Detroit sell us even more vehicles. In Britain, the government at least pays lip service by often referring to us as "people," not "consumers."

OK, we're in transition and Obama hasn't even taken over yet. But over there, the Yanks aren't coming, so the Brits are robbing Peter the rich guy to pay Paul the plumber. The question is whether Obama is listening. Or is he listening to your pay-me-and-other-average-Americans-no-mind guys like Larry Summers?

So far, at least Obama's words are soothing — and we saw how important even words are when Rudy Giuliani was portrayed as keeping it cool right after 9/11. In "Team Obama promises huge jolt to economy," the Guardian's Ewen MacAskill writes:

Progressive or regressive, that's the question about our new regime, in light of the conservative Clintonian Democrats with whom Obama's surrounding himself.

In Britain, that question's been answered by the Labor government's plan (see the Guardian's glance). It calls for massive government borrowing, but it's a progressive agenda where the citizenry are concerned.

Gordon Brown and his henchman Darling laid out an attack that includes a tax hike for the richest 1 percent of Britons and a higher tax on gasoline. Plus an order to banks to delay foreclosures. Plus more help to homeowners in making mortgage payments. Plus an increase in child-care benefits. Plus £1.3 billion to help the unemployed. Plus a cut in the sales tax. Plus a vow to use government power to stop utilities from gouging their customers.

Plus higher taxes on such vices as national health insurance, alcohol, and tobacco (unfortunately, three things that are necessary for us to survive the onrushing Great '08 Depression). And this conscionable move, as the Washington Post's Kevin Sullivan reports in a story buried on page A8:

So far, we're talking about the opposite approach in Britain to the recession. Shoring up social services, a higher tax on the rich? Doesn't sound like corporate welfare to me. What's wrong with those people? What, is Sheila Bair running Britain's bailout?

The Labor government didn't announce its plan to a roomful of respectful reporters. Sitting only a few feet away from Darling and Brown, the Tories jeered them. (Don't you just love parliamentary democracy?)

More from the WashPost story:

Not much talk these days about who's at fault for this mess. (By the way, can we please put that old antisemitic canard about "international bankers" to rest? We didn't get into this mess because of them. The villains are Wall Street's bankers. Thank you.)

Now see this Oklahoman-American Jew's links to other news ...

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Washington Post: '$30 Billion Stimulus Announced In Britain: Plan Cuts Sales Tax, Boosts Borrowing for Major Public Projects'

Guardian (U.K.): 'Team Obama promises huge jolt to economy'

Wall Street Journal: 'Big Players Scale Back Charitable Donations'
"As the recession deepens, the future of charities that depend on corporate donations is becoming more uncertain."

N.Y. Post: 'It's About Time! Paulson Finally Makes Move to Help Consumers'

New Yorker: 'Thinking Big: The promise of universal health care' (Steve Coll)

Guardian (U.K.): 'US intelligence "kept files on Tony Blair's private life", claims ex-US navy operator'

Wall Street Journal: 'Chrysler Workers Fret Buyout Deadline'
"Chrysler workers are torn between accepting a buyout now or hoping to survive involuntary separations expected at year's end."

N.Y. Times: 'Economic Slump May Limit Moves on Clean Energy'
"A poor global economy and plunging prices for coal and oil are upending plans to curb the use of fossil fuels."

N.Y. Daily News: 'Cops nab man who drove 3,000 miles to shoot wife in church'

N.Y. Times: 'Saving Citi May Create More Fear'
"The government's bailout of Citigroup could lead other banks to take bigger risks."

Irish Times: 'Democratic triumph heralds realignment in US politics'

N.Y. Times: 'For Lobbyists, No Downturn, Just a Turnover'
"Republican lobbyists are feeling the demand for their services plummet as Democrats ascend in Washington."

N.Y. Daily News: 'Teacher and her pet'
"A Queens teacher, 37, fired for bedding a 17-year-old male model is suing to win back her job. He was no student, she says."

Big noose in Texas this month: The hangingest state in the nation is celebrating 10 executions in 30 days.

Tuesday's lethal injection of Joseph Ray Ries kicked off the bloodfest. Read the Agence France Presse preview.

You'd think that Wall Street's investment bankers and lawyers could use a shot in the arm. If an injection of $700 billion hasn't done the trick, and constant needling by the press seems futile, maybe the only thing left to do is invoke the death penalty.

By coincidence, I just happen to be reading Ronan Bennett's Havoc, in Its Third Year. Because I haven't finished it, I'll let the Washington Post's Carolyn See describe it in her 2004 review:

One more glimpse, this one from Ian Thompson in the Spectator (U.K.):

You'd think that George W. Bush, the hangingest governor in U.S. history, should have read it. But we already know that Bush doesn't read.

And he obviously no longer cares. Returning to the lazy-faire days of its pre-9/11 activities, the Bush administration is focused on shaping its legacy — not to mention the pardons list it's now compiling. But Americans will remember the Bush regime for its mania to control Iraq and its refusal to control Wall Street.

Deregulation, rather than the Bremer Rules, might have worked well as a policy for the former; deregulation is a disaster when applied to the U.S. economy. Unless you think it's a good thing that foreclosure filings have risen 71 percent and that more and more people are losing their jobs.

We should have invaded Wall Street instead of Iraq. But it's the Dow of Bush. Try to stay calm.

By the way, don't watch this morning's webcast of another of the Waxman Committee hearings on the meltdown. Usually it's good entertainment. But today's hearing, "The Role of Federal Regulators," stars Alan Greenspan, SEC Chairman Christopher Cox, and former Treasury Secretary John Snow. You won't see their blood on the floor.

Maybe something else will click . . .

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Village Voice: 'Mayor Mugabe: Bloomberg's Velvet Coup' (Tom Robbins)

The Age (Australia): 'US stocks wilt'

McClatchy: 'Florida's GOP lawmakers blamed for early-voting lines'

Register (U.K.): 'Ohio elections website hacked as vote scuffle gets ugly'

CNN Money: '81,312 homes lost to foreclosure in September'

Wall Street Journal: 'Plans to Aid Borrowers Gain Steam'

BBC: ' "US missiles" hit Pakistan school'

N.Y. Post: 'TRAGEDY IN "LENO" CASE: EXEC IN SUIT OVER VINTAGE-CAR DEAL IS FOUND SHOT DEAD'

Register (U.K.): 'Greenpeace on fusion: Whatever it is, we're against it'

Uruknet (Italy): 'Mutant Seeds for Mesopotamia'

Dwell: 'Big Trouble in Little Dubai'

BBC: 'Painfully slow progress in Iraq'

Wall Street Journal: 'Bernanke Endorses Obama'

Raw Story: 'ACLU demands info on domestic military deployments'

Register (U.K.): 'Dutch court convicts teens for stealing pixels'

N.Y. Post: 'CREDIT-RATING ANALYSTS CREATED SUBPRIME MESS'

Washington Post: 'Job Losses Accelerate, Signaling Deeper Distress'

Wall Street Journal: 'Poll Shows Opposition to Gay Marriage Ban'

Scotsman (U.K.): 'We rapped our way to a deal with Sony, our story was fake and accents phony'

N.Y. Times: 'A.I.G. to Suspend Millions in Executive Payouts'

Wall Street Journal: 'Goldman to Cut 10% of Jobs as Downsizing Wave Grows'

McClatchy: 'The Philippines: America's other war on terrorism'

McClatchy: 'Financial panic now sweeping through South America'

Dawn (Pakistan): 'Kabul admits holding talks with Taliban'

IRIN (UN): 'Attacks drive thousands of Christians out of Mosul'

IRIN (UN): 'Medical mission denied entry into Gaza'

Register (U.K.): 'One billion unwanted opinions in real-time: Now SHOUTED at you'

Count the ways that Americans are cooked: Obama and McCain roast, the markets boil dry, Google sops up the gravy.

At last we have a slogan for this century's depression: United We Fall! Last night was a celebration of our one-party system, and what a party it was.

The Al Smith Dinner at the Waldorf was a prime example of the lame leading the blind.

Were the candidates themselves cooking?

My colleague Roy Edroso delivered the best post-dinner punch line:

Oh, SNAP! Still haven't gotten a review of the dinner from the Survivors' Network of those Abused by Priests.

But after you take a look at the photo of Cardinal Egan heartily laughing with John McCain and Barack Obama and you read the New York Times tiresome recap (like everyone else's) of the jokes, browse SNAP's library of stories about abused altar boys and shuttered churches in poor areas. Or go straight to a reprint of a 2003 Times story, "Cardinal Egan Spurns Members of Review Board Studying Abuse."

That one's a real knee-slapper.

At least Obama and McCain were funnier than John Kerry was at the 2004 dinner. Actually, Kerry didn't even get a chance to display his humorless personality because Egan didn't invite the candidates. That was because of the Catholic Kerry's stance on abortion.

And in 1996, the candidates weren't invited because Cardinal O'Connor was pissed off at Bill Clinton over abortion.

Good thing 2001 wasn't a presidential election year, Wall Street being bombed and all.

This year, Wall Street's bombing itself, and more (but slower) deaths can only result from the resulting depression into which we're sinking.

Speaking of leftovers . . .

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

McClatchy: '3rd-party debate's only confirmed participant: the moderator'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Where you sit says a lot about where you stand at annual Al Smith dinner'

Politico: 'McCain, Obama try to be funny...on purpose'

Washington Post: 'Life's Basics More of a Stretch: Inflation, Stagnating Pay Squeeze Low-Wage Workers'

McClatchy: ' "Birthplace of Flight" is on bleeding edge of job losses'

Wall Street Journal: 'Financial Crisis May Diminish American Sway'

Wall Street Journal: 'Oil's Slide Deepens as Downturn Triggers Sharp Drop in Demand'

BBC: 'US industrial output down sharply'

McClatchy: 'Google's Net Climbs 26 Percent'

McClatchy: 'Private sector loans, not Fannie or Freddie, triggered crisis'

BBC: 'European shares lose early gains'

BBC: 'China press freedoms due to end'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Nude portrait of Sarah Palin hung in Chicago tavern'

BBC: 'Police battle police in Brazil'

Slate: 'Dubya, Stoned'

The Dow's still gyrating, and certain Wall Streeters are twisting in the wind, but at least there's breathing room to step back and start asking questions.

What the hell happened? As I noted in "Release the news hounds!" (October 13), the Seattle Post-Intelligencer's Eric Nalder got an early jump on most other reporters in analyzing the meltdown.

Now the Washington Post jumps in with "The Crash: Risk and Regulation," which promises to be a long and strong skein of stories.

Whether the WashPost will turn out to be right in its analysis is another thing, but the long subhead on its "What Went Wrong?" piece sums up the story's thesis — without the sophomoric punning practiced by the other Post (the New York one) or by me:

Yes, the N.Y. Times will have some good stuff (it already has), and the Wall Street Journal is must-reading every day for news and analysis of inside transactions. The crisis is far from being over, especially for us non-Wall Streeters, but the unraveling of the scandalous behavior's particulars is just beginning. Besides the two New York papers, keep clicking on the WashPost because of its track record of obsessive nose-poking.

Today's clicking . . .

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Washington Post: 'Smaller Banks Resist Federal Cash Infusions'

Bloomberg: 'Blankfein's $70 Million Payday Would Survive Paulson's Limits'

BBC: 'New York "faces 165,000 job cuts" '

Washington Post: 'Treasury Hires Lead Contractor for Rescue'

CounterPunch: 'Is This the Stake Through Neoliberalism's Heart? It Should Be, But ...' (Alexander Cockburn)

L.A. Times: 'Stricter regulation of business sought, Americans say'

N.Y. Post: 'SPLITSVILLE AT LAST FOR MADONNA: "KABBALAH" BID TO SAVE MARRIAGE FAILS'

BBC: 'Millions mark UN hand-washing day'

Washington Post: 'What Went Wrong'

Guardian (U.K.): 'Secret White House memo endorsed waterboarding: A paper trail on the use of waterboarding and other interrogation techniques by the CIA is emerging in the US'

BBC: 'N Korea 'sex spy' jailed in South'

N.Y. Post: 'WYNN'S $TROKE OF LUCK'

Washington Post: 'From the Chief Justice, a Novel Dissent'

N.Y. Post: 'SWINDLER BEDEVILED BY GLITZ'

Common Dreams: 'Analysis of Treasury Department Rules on Executive Compensation' (Institute for Policy Studies)

N.Y. Post: 'GHOSTFELLA'S LI'L CHOP OF HORRORS: WISEGUY BARES SLAY AT SI "HAUNTED" HOUSE'

Washington Post: 'Gray Vote No Longer Reliably Red'

N.Y. Post: 'POL OPTED OUT OF "NO LIMIT" GAME'

Washington Post: 'W. Bank Settlers' Rage Grows: Jews, Frustrated by Israeli Army Inaction, Press Attacks on Palestinians'

N.Y. Times: 'Obama Ads Appear in Video Game'

Washington Post: 'Paulson's Change in Rescue Tactics: Plans Revamped After Scope of Bad Assets Became Clear, Stocks Plunged'

CNN Europe: 'Drunk tries to hijack Turkish Airlines passenger jet'

Take the money and run the banks — after the bankers ran them into the ground. That's the tragicomic second act of the Great '08 Bailout.

As newly crowned Nobel Prize winner Paul Krugman put it nearly a year ago in one of his many prescient columns, "Heads they win, tails we lose."

The context of Krugman's comments was, and is, right on the money: On November 23, 2007, he wrote in his New York Times op-ed column, under the head "Banks Gone Wild":

And now Wall Street executives' poor decisions have earned its biggest banks $125 billion in cash money from U.S. taxpayers, the Treasury announces.

The Washington Post's Binyamin Appelbaum breaks it down in his front-pager this morning, "Treasury Invokes Patriotism In Pitch to Bank Executives":

Yes, Hank Paulson's crew had to pressure the banks to take the money, because the banks didn't like the terms.

The banks just wanted the government's money — without the government's interference. Miraculously, the government insisted on taking equity stakes.

But what are the banks complaining about? The government is reportedly getting preferred stock, which, as the Wall Street Journal notes, typically doesn't come with voting rights.

And now the taxpayers — without voting rights — will be directly shelling out part of the outrageous executive pay in all these institutions. The bailout plan calls only for "appropriate standards for executive compensation."

What's "appropriate" is not detailed, as the Washington Post, among others, points out. And this comes despite the Democrats' supposedly having control of Congress. As the Wall Street Journal says:

It's not as if there wasn't evidence of profligate pay. Bloomberg's Christine Harper and Ian Katz pointed out just this past March 7 when reckless Wall Street execs had already jumped the tracks on their way to a big crash:

And now Paulson, Goldman's ex-CEO, is handing over millions in cash to his old firm. There's no plan to take back those unjustifiable bonuses to help defray the cost of the bailout.

Ordinarily, you'd say that the big banks now owe their souls to the company store. But most of these institutions — including Goldman Sachs — have been deep into predatory subprime lending since the Clinton administration's repeal of the Depression I-era Glass-Steagall Act.

So it's unlikely that they owe anything.

The Great '08 Bailout proceeded apace, everybody reports this morning.

First step? Hank Paulson's rescue-plan chief Neel Kashkari carried cash to Wall Street bankers whose poor decisions led to the market crash.

The Washington Post calls it "partial nationalization." Now the money will start flowing — on Wall Street.

More from the Post's excellent story, by David Cho, Neil Irwin and Peter Whoriskey:

Don't expect a trickle-down effect.

Meanwhile . . .

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

N.Y. Daily News: 'Brady Bunch star admits to swapping sex for drugs'

Wall Street Journal: 'Obama Takes Solid Lead Over McCain in Four Battleground States'

Register (U.K.): 'Robot vacuum cleaners — now with grenade launchers'

Wall Street Journal: 'U.S. to Buy Stakes in Nation's Largest Banks'

Scotsman (U.K.): 'Airport "bomb" jury sees film of panicking passengers'

Washington Post: 'U.S. Forces Nine Major Banks To Accept Partial Nationalization: Dow Soars 11 Percent; Biggest Point Gain Ever'

N.Y. Post: 'SURE PAYS FOR MARTY TO BE MIKE'S BUDDY'

L.A. Times: 'Movie stars' stock plummets'

Register (U.K.): 'Prince Charles declines Doctor Who cameo: "He turned us down, the miserable swine" '

Wall Street Journal: ' "Smart Money" Stays on the Sides'

BBC: 'Music fans back legal downloads'

Register (U.K.): 'Wal-Mart punts industrial strength feminine deodorant'

N.Y. Times: 'GENERATION FAITHFUL: Youthful Voice Stirs Challenge to Secular Turks'

BBC: 'Shares rise as confidence returns'

One of the planet's most despotic despots, Teodoro Obiang Nguema, ruler of tiny but oil-rich Equatorial Guinea and a star figure in the Riggs Bank scandal in 2004, may be dead. At last.

Unlike some of his prisoners, death didn't occur through torture by stinging ants.

Afrol News is reporting the ailing Obiang's "possible death or irreversible coma." That's the situation also of his little country.

The Bush regime has helped out Obiang in numerous ways (here's Condi Rice with him in April 2006), and Obiang repaid the favors, at one time stashing some of his loot at Riggs National Bank in D.C., a former institution formerly owned by Bush family crony Joe Allbritton with a taste given to Dubya's uncle Jonathan Bush.

For details of Obiang and Riggs, see my August 4, 2004 item "Yes, Protect the U.S. Treasury! Please!," in which I noted:

For other greatest hits of Obiang, see my September 7, 2004, item, "Tales from the Vault," and this April 2005 item.

U.S. oil companies have danced the tango with Obiang for years, as noted in the Washington Post's 2004 piece "U.S. Oil Firms Entwined in Equatorial Guinea Deals: Riggs Probe Led to SEC Inquiry on Corruption, Profiteering."

But even those scandals didn't stop our government from continuing to give Obiang a hand. Check out Ken Silverstein's August 9, 2006, Harper's piece, "Obiang's Banking Again: State Department and Washington insiders help a dictator get what he wants."

The only market in New York City still functioning is the farmers' market in Union Square — at least it'd better be when I stop by later this morning to buy something from Apple Mary.

Wall Street? Don't even go there. Yesterday was its worst day since 1987 or 1937 or 1934, or 1642, depending on which panic-stricken "expert" you listen to.

Things continue to be "unprecedented" — a word that, as I've noted, pops up everywhere but unfortunately is not overused. What could be scarier than that? The Wall Street Journal trumpets one of its excellent stories this morning this way:

Depression? How about psychosis? Everywhere but in China, which stands to take over the world economy a lot sooner than expected. Only there are government officials able to step back and watch while Wall Street burns down and the fire spreads elsewhere. See McClatchy's 'China sits out global crisis, focusing on own growth.'

Here? Nothing but panic in the financial markets, and the shit's already rolling downhill. Return to America's best newspaper chain and see McClatchy's Kevin G. Hall: 'American heartland is suffering from Wall Street's woes.'

As for people who have to wear ties every day, the Washington Post's "Fears of Recession Deepen Rout: Stock Decline Sweeps Through All U.S. Sectors and Pummels Asian Markets," is stuffed full of paragraphs like this one:

Don't go farther south into lower Manhattan than the Village Pet Store and Charcoal Grill in the Village, where you can see the mysterious artist Banksy's exhibit of robotic pet hot dogs.

Read the N.Y. Times piece "Where Fish Sticks Swim Free and Chicken Nuggets Self-Dip," if you want, but stop by for what might be the most pertinent image: a robot rhesus monkey sitting with headphones on, mesmerized by a TV screen. He's supposed to be watching porn, but he's probably watching the BBC.

Perhaps the person who has the best perspective on the situation is Seth Glickenhaus, who was around during the Great Depression's inception. At 94, he's still picking stocks for his investment firm.

Exactly two years ago today, Barron's Sandra Ward extracted this overall analysis — mostly accurate — from Glickenhaus (read it at seekingalpha.com):

OK, so companies aren't better managed and they aren't adjusting faster. But Glickenhaus makes you think: You want to end the war in Iraq? Maybe we'll be too broke and will have to bring our troops home. Maybe when they get back here, they'll have to defend D.C. against a new Bonus Army. Maybe they'll want to stay over there rather than return to the U.S. only to find their families sitting on the curb after losing their homes. No, they'll surely want to get out of Iraq, even if it means they'll have to go on guard duty at banks here.

Only slightly less fearful than Iraq is the global panic, because there aren't any more poorhouses for us to go to. Go back to yesterday's news and read "Fear Trumps Greed as Market Woes Paralyze Economies," in which Bloomberg's Matthew Benjamin and Michael McKee deftly parse the psychology of the horrorshow "feedback loop" (as the BBC and others call it):

There's plenty more in this adroit story:

So who should take a stab at trying to be the new FDR? Loudmouth stock expert Jim Cramer, as glib in print as he is on TV, opts for Barack Obama over John McCain. In his recent New York piece "Wall Street, Fall 2009," Cramer writes:

That may well be, but America is a depression, not a recession.

Before the newspaper industry tanks and while I still have my computer, I've typed these headlines . . .

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

OpenSecrets.org: 'Wall Street's Favorite Candidates'

Slate: 'Who Died and Made Bloomberg King of New York?'

N.Y. Post: ' "PEOPLE HAVE LOST ALL FAITH': 678-PT. DOW FALL PUTS YEAR'S LOSS NEAR 40 PERCENT'

Wall Street Journal: 'Futures Head Toward Sharp Losses'

N.Y. Daily News: 'With stock market falling, advice on what to do about 401(k)'

Wall Street Journal: 'U.S. Weighs Backing Bank Debt'

Wall Street Journal: 'At Morgan Stanley, Outlook Darkens; Stock Tumbles 26 Percent'

CNN: 'Smoke detected at Japanese nuclear plant'

Wall Street Journal: 'Finland's Martti Ahtisaari Wins Nobel Peace Prize'

N.Y. Post: 'PRAYING FOR ALMIGHTY $$'

Guardian (U.K.): 'Markets crash: How panic spread around the globe'

Wall Street Journal: 'Economists Expect Crisis to Deepen'

Guardian (U.K.): 'Huge bonuses for City high flyers will be hard to rein in'

CongressDaily: 'Senator urges suspension of Iraq publicity contracts'

Wall Street Journal: 'McCain Campaign Is at Odds Over Negative Attacks' Scope'

Wall Street Journal: 'AIG Increases Borrowings While Racing to Sell Assets'

China Digital Times: 'China Says it Won't Torture Guantanamo Detainees'

Detroit News: 'College students face barriers to voting'

N.Y. Times: 'States' Actions to Block Voters Appear Illegal'

N.Y. Post: 'BAGHDAD GOES BOOM - IN STOX'

The Senate grabbed hold of the Cash for Crash bill and finally came up with a workable version — one that may work for the Wall Street crapshooters but likely not for the rest of us, who are simply loaded dice in the palms of their hands.

Part of the complex maneuverings supposedly aimed at keeping the country from sliding into Great Depression II revolves around "mark-to-market accounting" of the assets that Wall Streeters have played with to the point of, literally, no return.

Yeah, like you, I have only a hazy understanding of this. Those who are financially alliterate are welcome to read this morning's New York Post story "PIGGY POLS IN HOG HEAVEN WITH PORK-PACKED PACT." Daphne Retter's funny, funky take brings a little light to an otherwise dark day of journalism:

More to the point of your financial future and such no-longer-arcane topics as mark-to-market accounting, lower your eyebrows, peer through this morning's financial fog and try to grab for this guidepost: Bankers and conservative Republicans (including former anti-populace populist Newt Gingrich) favor the abandonment of mark-to-market accounting rules. To which auditors, big investors, and consumer groups reply, "Are you out of your friggin' minds?"

Think of it like the nursery rhyme that goes, "This little piggy went to market . . .", and add some huffing and puffing by wolves that may eventually knock down millions of American homes.

In the present case, these little piggies went to mark-to-market, and now they want to remove that accounting rule so they can instantly wipe out their losses on the books and resume playing their Neverland gambling games with our money.

In essence, the new Senate version of the bailout bill would let Wall Streeters lie even more about the value of the assets they're trading and set us up for a rerun of the Enron scandal.

That should help things.

Or maybe the financial system is so fouled up and so wedded to its inherently corrupt trading instruments and practices that abandoning mark-to-market accounting really would help restart the credit markets and protect you from foreclosure.

Scary.

And where has Wall Street's mayor, Mike Bloomberg, been in all this? I pointed to Bloomberg's culpability on September 23, and now the New York Times is dipping its toe into the topic. The Times, of course, is making excuses for him. See this morning's "Mayor’s Stewardship Is Mixed, Fiscal Experts Say."

Enough on Bloomberg and more on the important mark-to-market piece of the corporate-bailout bill below, but first . . .

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Wall Street Journal: 'Fed Considers Rate Cut as Recession Fears Mount'

Slate: 'How to Debate a Girl, and Win' (Dahlia Lithwick)

BBC: 'Tanzania disco stampede kills 19'

N.Y. Times: 'Stopping a Financial Crisis, the Swedish Way'

Jurist: 'Ohio to proceed with absentee voting after courts rule on registration requirements'

N.Y. Times: 'Surveillance of Skype Messages Found in China'

N.Y. Post: 'MOB-CORPSE DIG'

N.Y. Times: 'Studios Sue to Bar a DVD Copying Program'

Wall Street Journal: 'Bombs Hit Shiite Worshippers in Baghdad'

N.Y. Post: 'B'KLYN GIRL, 15, NABBED IN GRISLY DEATH OF COUSIN'

Wall Street Journal: 'Analyzing the "Twelve Tribes of Politics" '

McClatchy: 'What's in that Senate bill? Something for everyone.'

Agence France Presse: 'Enron-era accounting reforms blamed in financial crisis'

Far Eastern Economic Review: 'The Great Crash of China'

Back to the dust-up over the new bailout bill's endorsement, in effect, of abandoning mark-to-market accounting:

Over at consumerwatchdog.com, John R. Simpson issues a fire-and-brimstone warning: "New 'bailout' tactic would let fat cats cook books."

Stirring the pot, today's Wall Street Journal story "Momentum Gathers to Ease Mark-to-Market Accounting Rule" explains things pretty well. Elizabeth Williamson and Kara Scannell craft a succinct lede:

It would just further cloud matters for me to try to paraphrase this, so here's how Williamson and Scannell lay it out:

As Bloomberg's Jesse Westbrook reported Tuesday, conservative Republicans might very well have supported the House version of the bailout bill if the SEC had suspended mark-market accounting rules.

For background, see "Auditors Resist Effort To Change Mark-to-Market," in Tuesday's Wall Street Journal, in which Judith Burns wrote:

Let the staggeringly diverse gaggle of opponents of abandoning mark-to-market accounting speak for themselves. This is what they told the WSJ's Burns and Bloomberg's Westbrook:

Still unclear? In NPR's "Senate OKs Bailout Package, House to Vote Friday," Dina Temple-Raston tries to explain:

That's reassuring that our lawmakers — like pro athletes and philandering pols — want to pull out the hackneyed reasoning to say that all they want to do is get their past mistakes "behind them." In real time, however, the train is still hurtling down the track toward us.

We feel the bankers' pain.

Running down the press:

A surprisingly lively New York Times lede this morning:

Not since the Clinton Administration has it been widely reported that people were on their knees in the White House and that a president talked about a sucker going down.

And this time it's a Treasury secretary on his knees, not just an intern. This is some serious shit.

Or not. McClatchy's Kevin G. Hall, who constantly snoops for fresh angles and comes up with solid material, writes in "Is the bailout needed? Many economists say 'no' ":

What? A story in the national press about the plight of the rest of us? How dare he!

John McCain's own September surprise isn't working out too well, as another McClatchy story points out. In "McCain gets blamed for angry end to Bush's bailout meeting," David Lightman and Margaret Talev write:

Yes, "principled." Buy or sell? Sell.

No question that the month has been tough on McCain, but just think about those poor mid-level banker types on Wall Street, which is just a little more than a stone's throw from my office. (If I had an arm like Rocky Colavito's and a bag of stones, I'd take the subway down there and start hurling, instead of just hurling over my latest bank statement.)

Anyway, in "Big banks delay decisions on bonuses," the Financial Times (U.K.) reports on the plight of British bankers' bonuses, which depend on how U.S. firms decide their own bonuses:

Well, we appreciate that news from the other side of the pond that at least we won't all drown. I'm certainly looking forward to my own bonus. I hope those bananas at the Astor Place kiosk are still only 35 cents apiece.

And here's a September surprise, again courtesy of the FT, whose Cash for Crash coverage rocks and is free for the viewing. In "Hedge fund chief warns on wrongdoing," Gillian Tett and James Mackintosh report a frank admission from a financial-world insider:

Chanos is of course saying this as a defense of short-selling, setting up the argument you'll hear in the coming years that there's a big difference between conniving and illegal conniving.

And here's something else in this FT story that comes as absolutely no surprise:

Weary of skipping around the web? Do some one-site shopping this morning. Here's a clump of readable FT stories that you could skim through and try to choke down over your third cup of coffee — remember to take small bites and chew thoroughly unless you want to spit up hairballs later in the day:

'US "will lose financial superpower status" '
'Church accused over short selling'
'WaMu seized and sold to JP Morgan'
'Flight from Morgan Stanley brokerage'
'Nomura offers bonuses to Lehman staff'
'CVS is added to ban list on short selling'

At least one of my Voice colleagues is staying focused on the presidential race: See Lynn Yaeger's "How I'm Contributing to McCain's Campaign Suspension."

And now . . .

NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

N.Y. Times: 'In Storm's Aftermath, Cow Roundups in Southeast Texas'

N.Y. Daily News: 'Shoplifter turns in Brooklyn rapist'

Washington Post: 'Health Insurance Costs to Spike an Average 8 Percent'

Slate: 'Things Fall Apart'

BBC: 'Arming the Taleban'

Washington Post: 'U.S. Has Achieved "Victory" in Iraq, Palin Tells Couric'

Haaretz: 'Jewish terrorists tried to murder left-wing professor'

Washington Post: 'Away from Wall Street, Economists Question Basis of Paulson's Plan'

IRIN: 'Charity coffers face credit crunch'

Washington Post: 'Carbon Is Building Up in Atmosphere Faster Than Predicted'

Haaretz: 'Peres: U.S. has no choice but to save world from Ahmadinejad'

Washington Post: 'Negotiations Falter on Financial Bailout Package'

N.Y. Post: 'EX-CON HELD AS "JESUS RAPIST" '

Washington Post: 'Debate Remains In Limbo'

L.A. Times: 'Palin talks to Couric — and if she's lucky, few are listening'

Baltimore Sun: 'McCain hints debate appearance "possible" '

Financial Times: 'Ex-Merrill chief considers hedge-fund return'

Jurist: 'US military commissions prosecutor resigns due to "ethical qualms" '

N.Y. Times: 'Pakistani and American Troops Exchange Fire'