Oh No She Didn't!

Naomi Watts in yellow and Robert Downey Jr. with his tie rakishly loose give the Best Special Effects award to Pirates of the Caribbean Part Deux. “Thanks to Gore Verbinski, your vast imagination…” Haaahahahahahaahahaaaa! That’s a good one.

Deneuve comes out wearing a rose brooch stabbed through with a sword, dangling some kind of blood-red thread. Fierce! Not since Bjork’s swan…Cue montage of foreign films. Foreign people Clive Owen and Cate Blanchett present the foreign film Oscar to The Lives of Others. Take that, Mexico! “I thank Germany and Bavaria for making this film possible.” Right on.

O snap! The silhouette acrobats just made Snakes on a Plane. All is forgiven.

George Clooney gives the award for Best Supporting Actress to – wait for it now – Jennifer Hudson. Look at her; she’s shocked, shocked! Aw, she’s totally losing it. Talking about her grandmother’s passion. We love her, even if she just called Bill Condon a genius. Uh oh, she didn’t thank Beyonce. It’s on!