The World's Worst Bobblehead Comes to Brooklyn

markowitz.jpg
Brooklyn's self-proclaimed cheerleader will spend $8.1 million of your money this year.
Photo illustration by Henry Deeb

So the Brooklyn Cyclones are sponsoring a bobblehead promotion, that kicks off this weekend, called the "Legends of Brooklyn." Sounds good. And who are these legends that the Cyclones are bestowing the bobblehead honor upon?

Willie Randolph— Good choice. The former Yankee player and coach is a Brooklyn native who now coaches the Mets, so that's basically a choice that makes everyone happy.

Joe Smith—Nice. The former Cyclone has performed well for the big-league club this year, even if a 7.36 ERA in June earned him a trip back to minors. But what's not to love about this submariner reliever who surprised everyone this year?

The Brooklyn Bridge—Well, OK. It may seem a little odd to make a "bobblebridge," but it might make me curious enough to go to see what this thing would look like. And certainly the bridge is legendary. Might be an odd memento though, if a huge earthquake ever struck the city. But cool.

Lee Mazzilli—He certainly doesn't have the best career numbers, but it was always about the looks for Mazz. The ladies always loved this Brooklyn native, so that would seem to work. He's really sexy too—way better looking than Bucky Dent.

Then, there's the bobblehead for Marty Markowitz, the Brooklyn Borough President.

Why? Why? Why?

When, as a society, did we start honoring apparatchiks of the Brooklyn Democratic machine? Nothing against the guy personally, it's just that with all of the famous Brooklynites in the world, why are we honoring politicians, especially those with very few real powers and big big budgets?

Is the guy really a legend? Neil Diamond. Woody Allen. Chris Rock. Norman Mailer. Spike Lee. Henry Miller. Barbra Streisand. The Notorious B.I.G. These are Brooklyn legends.

Marty Markowitz, an alum of the Albany cesspool known as the state Senate, has discretion over an annual budget of $8.1 million as he promotes himself for a possible run for mayor.

$8.1 million. Get your own damn bobblehead.

Why not a bobblehead for former Queens Borough President Donald Manes? At least that would serve as a cautionary tale that could teach the young folk a lesson about civics and big city politics.

"Grandpa, who's that bobblehead?"

"Donald Manes, my boy."

"Why's he famous?"

"Do you know what graft is, son?"

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