Mariah is Bigger than Elvis and Other Lessons Learned From Today's Tabloids

Categories: Tabloided

It's perfectly OK to call for someone's head on a platter if that person's name begins with "Isiah" and ends with "Thomas." Check out the hilarious/disturbing photo mashup of Madison Square Garden boss Jerry Dolan and new Knicks president Donnie Walsh holding the photoshopped head of beleagured coach Thomas on page 3 of the Daily News. To add to the insult, the News stuck one of the "no" circle/slash signs over Thomas' head.

9/11 was more than a plane crash.. California Congressman Frank Faone learned that the hard way after he made some remarks suggesting that the federal government shouldn't give New York any more financial help to deal with the aftermath of 9/11. Both papers are all over this story, and Faone is probably still smarting from the conversation he had with Staten Island Rep. Vito Fossella about the difficulty some 9/11 workers have getting healthcare. The Daily News was kind enough to stamp "LOSER" on a pic of Faone.

You should pay your water bill. For the first time in history, the city has shut off water and sewer service to those who haven't paid. You don't have to worry if you're a month late, but if your bill is between $1,341.35 and $2,070.76, chances are you're going to experience an indoor drought.

Jerry Seinfeld could have a second career as a stunt driver. The Post reports that the comedian flipped his 1967 Fiat while driving in the Hamptons on Saturday. The car's brakes cut out and Seinfeld had to use some quick thinking--pulling the emergency brake and cutting the wheel to the right.

Mariah Carey is bigger than Elvis. No, it's not a comment about the diva's weight. Carey now has had more No. 1 singles than the King.

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