Breaking! Weekly World News Alien Calls It For McCain!
When the Weekly World News alien came out for Obama in August, New York's Daily Intel reminded us that the interplanetary endorser "has accurately predicted the outcome of every presidential election since Ronald Reagan won in 1980." But hold on! WWN has just informed us that the alien has pulled an October Surprise, switching his allegiance to John McCain. "Uncovered photos suggest that in a last ditch effort to help her husband’s failing campaign," the paper reports, "Cindy McCain seduced and then blackmailed the Alien for his endorsement." Start biting your nails, America. Even if Obama defies history and wins, we'll probably have a new war on our hands. (Of course, we could have told you that without the alien.)