Coney Island Opens "Presidential Shooting Gallery," Outrage Expected

We don't do events, but feel you should know about the upcoming "Creepshow at the Freakshow" held by Coney Island USA October 17-31. The Halloween spook-tacular's theme this year is "Phantom of the Presidential Wax Museum," and includes not only presidential "robots" (which, from what we know of the venue, we expect to be high cheese) but also a "Presidential Shooting Gallery" at which you can "fire ping pong ball rifles at Kennedy, Lincoln, Garfield and McKinley." Remember, you read it here first, before conservatives made it a national issue and revealed that Obama is a close personal friend of Dick Zigun.