Greenspan Disowned By Ayn Rand Cult; also, America is Back

The market managed to lose only about 300 points today despite the public humiliation of Alan "Who Knew?" Greenspan. Not only did the glibertarian former Fed Chairman admit that his let-'er-rip approach to deregulation might have been a tad responsible for the market chaos, he was denounced by the Ayn Rand Center for Individual Rights as a traitor to John Galt. "Any belief Greenspan ever had in truly free markets was abandoned long ago," declares the Randroids' executive director, Yaron Brook, who added that Greenspan's advocacy of "a truly free market in banking, including the gold standard" was effectively negated by his "work for two decades as leader and chief advocate of the Federal Reserve, which continually inflates the money supply and manipulates interest rates." Also, Greenspan said the loving, Invisible Hand was tainted by "infectious greed," which for Randians is like calling their mother a whore. Turn in your dollar bill pin, Greenspan! They're Atlas and you got shrugged.