Open Letter from Lynn Yaeger to the Newly Cost-Conscious Queen Elizabeth II

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Britain's Queen Elizabeth has decided to turn off the lights in unused Buckingham Palace rooms, re-serve morsels left over from lavish banquets, and repeat a dowdy outfit now and again.

Nice try Queeenie, and we're glad you're keeping up with the news and all, but how about adding these thrifty measures:

Dispense with the royal Windex sprayer, who spiffs up the glass carriage you ride in on special occasions.

Have diamonds in your tiara and scepter polished after only every other wearing.

QUIT. And take all your silly unemployed sycophantic royal relatives with you! Save your struggling populace trillions wasted cosseting your antiquated hide. Queenie, look deep in that royal mirror and ask yourself not "Who is the fairest of them all?" but "Who needs a monarchy in 2009?"


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