Tourism Up; Foreigners Responsible

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If you had more trouble getting down a crowded sidewalk this year, or waited longer on lines as the people ahead of you were walked through the many different toppings available on a hamburger, blame our city's increasing popularity -- New York attracted a record number of visitors in 2008. The 47 million outlanders were swollen in particular by a million more international tourists than in 2007, probably here to take advantage of the weak dollar, which explains all those fat toffs who waddled up to you and asked "Please, where iz der Spendenplaz? I have many marks. Also pleaze to a prostitute." Of course, now that the New Depression has gone global, they'll all vanish next year, so forget about that career change to international mugger. But enjoy your impoverished elbow room! (Photo via Fanny Pack Antics.)

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