New York Post Plays Pretend-Populist on MTA Fare Hike

delonaschimp.jpgAs longtime readers will know, even when not overtly racist, the Post is extremely right-wing (remember the "Axis of Weasels" cover?). They're usually pretty straightforward about it, but sometimes when they sniff an opportunity to associate their causes with a popular backlash, they get a little overeager and creepy.

The recent MTA fare hike, which brought out the pretend-populist in Mike Bloomberg, has does the same for the Rupert Murdoch paper. Today's related "Pulse" section article starts by addressing the paper's real audience, Republican suburbanites: "YOU don't have to like New York City-style public transportation, but the vast majority of us have to take it..."

Then, to show that Posties are regular guys, they go a little blue: "...right in the caboose." Haw haw! Turns out conservatives are allowed to refer to ass-fucking, but only as an act of violence.

They go on: "Since dumping tea in the harbor isn't an option" -- an apparent reference to the conservative Tea Parties attended by dozens of their readers -- "it's time to hand the occupying maroon-coats a straphangers' bill of rights."

What rights would you imagine? To ride in something like comfort, and to have a decent degree of mobility at reasonable prices? The Post offers instead a list of pet peeves. It's supposed to be a joke, but the punchlines seem to have been written by someone who hasn't been inside an actual subway since Crocodile Dundee was regaling audiences with "Naow that's a knoiff!" Peeves include: scary ethnic musicians ("rattling a change cup for percussion as their big sombreros and upright basses poke people's eyes out"), bums ("asleep in urine-soaked pants"), cell-phone users (amiright? They're almost as annoying as airline peanuts!), and crooks who are "hopping turnstiles like they're playground apparatus," presumably in a hurry to catch Wild Style at the Selwyn, which is the last time anyone saw such a thing.

Please, fellas, you don't have to work this hard. Just go back to adding new adjectives to Republican press releases.

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help

Now Trending

New York Concert Tickets

From the Vault