Quick Hits

Fresh off an arrest for drunken hooliganism, Australian footballer Todd Carney left a full-frontal nude picture of himself on a rented phone, causing embarrassment all around. The refreshing explanation: "He had forwarded the photos to a girl he met on social network site Facebook some months later after she exchanged a lewd photograph of herself."

Robert Crumb is doing an illustrated version of the Book of Genesis. His publisher describes it as a "satire," though we expect Crumb is subtler than that.

Press release title of the day: "Chicken Soup for the Soul Adds NASCAR to Its Team."

Megan McArdle doesn't think it's such a good idea to call Obama a fascist; her commenters respond that he is, too, a fascist, avail semantic arguments, and furiously retuck their shirts.

WCBS reports some "Botox Bandits" are getting facelifts, then refusing to pay for them and running away laughing like The Joker. "They are walking out with our product in their face," complains a dermatologist.

How did stone broke Lindsay Lohan get a Meserati? As a loaner from a porno producer. WWTDD suspects the producer "might have a motive other than kindness for showing the young skinny bisexual nymphomaniac with big tits and a drug problem who desperately needs money how good life can be in porn."

Amazingly, there are still people who believe the Ashley Biden cocaine tape exists as an actual tape, rather than as an excuse to run stories like this.