Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin' Scared

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Obama told Chrysler and GM to get their shit straight or go bankrupt. The new head of GM said that was okay with him. (Aren't they supposed to whine and resign in the Times?) This of course made Obama a fascist. Rightbloggers were also mad when Obama went to Europe and wasn't nice enough to the Queen and was too nice to a King. Plus he helped the G-20 give away all our money. Back home his minions passed his budget.

NY-20 had an election. A Libertarian who Republicans pushed off the ballot backed Democrat Scott Murphy. Murphy decided he was running against Rush Limbaugh. (Perhaps in response, Limbaugh threatened to leave New York.) At first it seemed that blockbuster combo won Murphy a 59-vote lead, forcing Republicans to impound the ballots. But then the recount showed Republican Jim Tedisco was up by 12! Overseas ballots will be counted through April 13. Is that a Friday?

In Binghamton, a gunman killed 14 people, then himself.

Alan did Studies in Crap: a youth-friendly Jesus freak and a Teen Beat special.

Al Sharpton's government connections seemed to gain him a $500,000 bonus. He partied with the Mayor and got in return the "Reverend Al! My man!" treatment.

The state budget crawled like a dying thing. Governor Paterson got comfy with taxes on the rich. The New York Post got mad -- Paterson was going to tax their cigars! (Wayne Barrett is not impressed.) The legislature dropped the new tolls. The budget dragged on. A sick senator was dragged in. The budget heaved on. In an unrelated (except for philosophically) event, a new tax put cigs over $9 a pack.

Lance Armstrong showed us his scar.

Evil monster Mayor Bloomberg forced Caroline Kennedy to humiliate herself at the Inner Circle dinner.

Photography great Helen Levitt and "The Guiding Light" died.

We went to the Circus!

In sports, the Mets' fans got a look at Citi Field and maybe Gary Sheffield. Allen Barra assessed their strength and Neil deMause assessed Yankee Stadium. Plaxico Burress got a break from the court and cut by the Giants.

Iowa went gay, and rightbloggers were scared they'd catch it.

DA candidate Leslie Crocker Snyder has a fundraiser at a shady club, then made her case to the Village Independent Democrats, along with several other candidates for local office.

Hundreds of thousands of Americans lost their jobs, but one union guy did very, very well.

The Cyclone opens Sunday!


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