Mets Auction Off Opening Day Tickets
We just clicked on the bidding link, and those seats are already up to $310! Better act fast, and remember, liquid assets only. To sweeten the deal, Citigroup's CEO and top execs promise not to be at the ballpark -- though some of their flunkies will on hand to escort the Jackie Robinson Foundation scholarship winners, and to receive the abuse of the crowd -- though at these prices we doubt anyone will throw beer and food. Maybe fans will drown them in the dunk tank.
"I get the new reality," says Citiboss Vikram Pandit, so he will watch the game from his secret underwater lair while a mermaid sucks his dick.