Studies in Crap Presents "Science for Christian Schools: Grade 6"

Your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. He does this for one reason: Knowledge is power.

Science for Christian Schools: Grade 6

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Author: Joseph Henson, Georgre Mulfinger, Jr., and Emmett Williams

Publisher: Bob Jones University Press

Date: 1977

Discovered at: Goodwill

The Cover Promises: "With the rock of truth, we can smash the eyeglass of humanism!"

Representative Quote: "Scientists who take God's Word seriously realize that the earth and moon are separate creations, brought into existence for different purposes." (page 57)


Before they get to covering the minerals, microorganisms, and miracles that are a part of any well-rounded science education, the authors of Science for Christian Schools - all working at the behest of Bob Jones University, where shorts and sideburns are still forbidden -- first clear up just what exactly they mean by science.

"The study of science is both interesting and helpful," they admit before adding this caveat: "It is not Absolute Truth . . . The study of science must be done in the light of God's Word."

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A Thought Experiment From BJU:

Imagine scientists have discovered a fossilized fish on a mountaintop. 

"A scientist who believes in evolution . . . would reason that the whole area must have been underwater in only the last million years or so. A scientist who believes in the biblical account of Creation would say that the fossil was probably formed a few thousand years ago when the Flood of Noah's time covered the entire earth."
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Since Occam's razor tells us that the most likely answer is the simplest, it's indisputable that the reason that bug-eyed fish wound up speared atop Mt. Phallus is . . .

. . .  a vengeful God flooded the earth to punish mankind for its wanton displays of ankles and facial hair.

Points of controversy:

Once its methodology is established, Science for the Christian School: Grade 6 does an adequate sketching out the basics of elementary school science: sunspots, moon-shots, and weights and density are covered with a faint dusting of "God Willed It."

  • "The usual explanation for coal given by evolutionists, on the other hand, involves imaginary peat bogs that are said to have existed millions of years ago."
  • "Evolutionists had hoped that some form of life might be found on Mars. Such a find would help support their belief that life 'happens' by itself wherever conditions are right."
  • "God demanded Adam to subdue the earth and have dominion over the animals (Genesis 9:3.)"

What "dominion" means, in practical terms: if you're a science teacher needing to demonstrate how God gave all beasts reflexes, toss a cat.


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Shocking Detail:

From the "Suns and Stars" chapter:

"When Galileo first used a telescope to study the heavens in 1609, he was amazed at the number of stars he could see. He declared that the stars were 'innumerable.' People then began to have a greater appreciation for the mighty works of the Creator."

Yes: Galileo, friend of the church.

Highlight:

"A miracle is something that cannot be understood by natural processes," the authors write in the final chapter, "Miracles." They continue: "The results of a miracle are observable, but the way it was accomplished is not."

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What follows is an earnest stab at explaining, scientifically, just what is and is not a miracle. Since God intends miracles to be recognized as such, miracles (or "His mighty work") are clearly manifest in the physical world for all to behold: think the parting of the Red Sea.

If, on the other hand, a girl "miraculously" survives a car crash, this is something different:

"God probably worked within the natural laws, and the girl's protection would not be a true miracle. An event may be a direct answer to prayer and not be a miracle."

The question never answered: can God make a cat so clumsy even He can't drop it on its feet? And if He did so, is that a miracle?

[The Crap Archivist lives in Kansas City, where he originates his on-line Studies for the Voice's sister paper, The Pitch.]
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