City to Sell Naming Rights to 7 Sorta-Landmarks

Strapped for cash, the city turns to its traditional wellsprings of vitality. No, not the grit and determination of its people -- rich people who want their names on things. The New York Post has a preliminary list of seven city sites for which naming rights will be offered for sale. Thankfully, nothing too iconic is on the list, though fans of the sport might be disturbed that the Central Park Tennis Center will not, as would have been done in olden times, be named after an inspiring local tennis hero like Arthur Ashe, but after a bank or some shit. Heroism's all well and good, but it doesn't pay. The whole list is expected to gain $19 million for the civic coffers.

Well, if we're going to sell out, let's sell out in style. We note that the McCarren Pool, when renovated, will give its naming rights for $3 million. We hope and pray Dov Charney has the balls -- well, we know he has the balls, but does he have the funds? -- to step up and christen the thing American Apparel Sexual Harassment Center. Come on down to the pit for a better view, ladies!

(We also note with interest that the Post's graphic only lists six of the seven re-nominees. Can you guess what borough the one left off is from? They really can't get no respect.)