Wacky JFK Theories -- Way Before Oliver Stone
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February 27, 1964, Vol. IX, No. 19
The Fringe -- & Beyond
These are halcyon days on the lunatic fringe. Within a week we have heard two stories purporting to give the true facts about the President's assassination. The Black Muslims published an article announcing that Kennedy had cancer and arranged his own assassination in order to achieve martyrdom. The Birchers, on the other hand, have just come out with an article stating that Kennedy was assassinated because he had fallen behind in the schedule for an international Communist takeover, and his fellow Communists -- such as Eisenhower, no doubt -- dispatched him.
Neither story is, of course, true. I have it from an unimpeachable source -- myself -- that President Kennedy was not assassinated at all, but defected. As must be apparent to any thinking member of the Birch Society, the whole story is too flimsy, particularly the business of a closed casket. Obviously, it was closed because there was no one in it, and the President is now in Moscow turning over lots and lots of confidential material and helping to prepare a quick getaway for Ike. -- Suzanne Kiplinger, Brooklyn Heights
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