No, Please God, No: "New 'Sex' Capital? It's Brooklyn!"

"BROOKYLN might soon get the "Sex and the City" treatment," says Page Six. "Author Amy Sohn got an early publicity bump for her upcoming novel, Prospect Park West, after Sarah Jessica Parker's Pretty Matches production company optioned the story in conjunction with HBO for a half-hour series . Says an insider at Simon & Schuster, 'It's got sex, parenthood, and celebrity. Brooklyn is about to blow up nationally.'"

Christ Jesus no. You know what's worse than out-of-town friends and family reacting to "I live in Brooklyn" as if you'd told them, "I live on an ash-heap striated with vomit"? Telling them you live in Brooklyn and having them think you hang out with Sarah Jessica Parker at Studio B. Imagine how disappointed they'll be when they come to visit and you take them to "your" diner and it isn't filled with Interesting Characters, and your neighbors are dressed in Old Navy, Rocawear and doo-rags.

Besides, we already specced this story line out and it doesn't end well. Image (cc) Christopher Peterson.