A Studies in Crap Anniversary Clip-Show: Seven Amusing Pieces of Crap Not Worth Writing Full Columns About

Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.   It's been just over a year since the lord first commanded your Crap Archivst to reveal to the world the great heaps of crap clogging creation. Since then, Studies in Crap has exposed the finest in crazy preachers, out-dated sex guides, existential coloring books, and Limbaugh family Jell-O recipes.

My proudest entries: How to Be Happy Though Married, Tim LaHaye's ladyparts-smell-funny book of marital advice, and McAllister Ransom's brilliant/scarifying run-on of a novel Fuzzy Mules, Pink Slippers Volume One: Came a Clown. Everyone else's favorite entry: Bill O'Reilly's filthy audiobook Those Who Trespass.

Instead of a meal, this week we have a buffet. Instead, here's seven ill-conceived publications worth being confused by.

1. First, some good news in the struggle against Tom Cruise's overlords!


Yes, something can be done about Scientology!

While it may look like some prank from those Anonymous protesters, this poorly written pamphlet is the full-on real Hubbard deal, straight from a Scientology center.

The highlight is this photo illustration suggesting that all of the prophets and seers in religious history are mere steps toward the spiritual perfection achieved by the Scientology twerp who looms over them.


Jesus looks a little uncomfortable, which I can understand. I mean, he is standing next to Mohammad on Picture Day.

2. Jesus also turns up in our second book, which offers a revelation omitted from the gospels.


Author Parsley explains further on the back cover:
Turns out, the King of Kings was mighty inconsiderate.

3. Not that the ladies seem to mind.