Evil George Soros Gives $35 Million to New York Schoolchildren

Conservatives have become very interested lately in George Soros' finances, as $5 million of them have been pledged to sponsor advertising in favor of health care reform (or, as Born Again Redneck calls it, "ObamugabeCare"). Soros may have decided to take advantage of the attention, and has followed up with a $35 million donation to New York State schoolchildren. This grant from the "admitted and unrepentant NAZI collaborator" and "SELF-HATING JEW, AND TOTAL SCUM" (per Reliapundit) makes New York eligible for an additional $140 million in Federal matching funds. 850,000 children from low-income families will each receive a $200 "Back to School New York" bonus. The "pampered darling of the American Left" (per Villainous Company) says he made the grant because he had received aid as a young student from the Quakers, a socialist front group.

In a related investigation, The Jawa Report deduces that Good Morning America named Dinosaur BBQ "the best BBQ in the country" because "Former Nazi collaborator George Soros, owner of the Democrat Party" has a 70 percent share in the company. Governor Paterson will nonetheless announce and accept the $35 million at a press conference today.