Health Club Killer's Site Shows Him to Be Typical Blogger, Only More So
It turns out Sodini's loserdom differs from usual blogger loserdom in four ways:
1. His self-hatred is uncompensated by delusions of grandeur, or even of adequacy. He keeps saying things like "There are 30 million desirable women in the US (my estimate) and I cannot find one," but aside from a brief rustle about "bitches," he seems to accept that this is because he is "a total malfunction." He criticizes what he portrays as the ignoble behaviors of ordinary people ("People believe bull shit if delivered WITH CONFIDENCE"), but doesn't seem to think his own values are superior. He talks about excusing his sexless life with a religious cover story; unfortunately it turns out he was joking.
2. He doesn't mind telling you how much he's not getting laid. "I just looked out my front window and saw a beautiful college-age girl leave Bob Fox's house, across the street. I guess he got a good lay today. College girls are hoez. I masturbate. Frequently." If it were a conversation you would certainly change the subject, emphatically. Sadly, Sodini's blog does not appear to have had a comments feature.
3. He drops hints like Jay-Z drops hits. "It is 8:45PM: I chickened out! Shit! I brought the loaded guns, everything. Hell!" "But this guy teaches (and convinced me) you can commit mass murder then still go to heaven." This is the sort of thing we were told the Obama fascists would be monitoring on the internet. What happened?
4. Money wasn't an issue. We usually picture all these Arthur Bremers in seedy rooming-houses, but Sodini announces, "Net worth slightly more than $250K, (after all debt) as of end of 2008." After all the defeatism of the previous ravings, that's a surprise. Maybe Mom was right; money doesn't buy happiness. But it can buy an arsenal.