Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin' Scared

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Mayor Bloomberg asked Obama for antiterrorism money. Yet his NYPD minions busted a Staten Island citizen for keeping guns 'n' ammo in his kid's bedroom, so how serious can Bloomberg be about fighting terrorists where it counts? No matter, Marty Markowitz backed him anyway. Consider that outdoor smoking ban a done deal!

President Obama spoke at the U.N. -- or rather, in the Rightbloggers version, attacked America. Further proof of Obama's perfidy was detected in the Empire State Building lighting up red and yellow for China.

An entirely different crowd protested Tucker Max.

Meanwhile in our increasingly meaningless democracy, a runoff election was held (despite the opposition of the press) John Liu and Bill de Blasio won. Your vote was worth money! Are we done with Mark Green yet? Also, left over from the primary, councilmember Thomas White's four-vote lead was challenged by his opponent, Lynn Nunes.

Allison Benedikt reviewed the Roman Polanski excuses.

A Studies in Crap classic: The Heritage of Hell.

Runnin' Scared talked to major cultural figures Michael Moore and Whitney Port.

The Yankees took the AL East crown (sweeping the Sox at the same time!). All hail fat CC! And there's plenty more where he came from. Ex-Yankee Chuck Knoblauch celebrated with a wife-beating rap. Allen Barra weighed the Jets against the Giants. But the cool kids are all about Williamsburg tennis.

The Hiram Monserrate trial heated up: we learned some married guy's PBA card enraged the alleged slasher-state senator, and Monserrate's girlfriend was hauled into court, with hilarious results. Elsewhere in local politician-crime, an aide to ex-state senator Efrain Gonzalez got put away, an aide to Bloomberg was fined for illegal lobbying, and drunk driver Vito Fossella continued his comeback.

Somebody Got Murdered: at East 158th Street in The Bronx, and at Schenck Avenue and Wyckoff Street in Brooklyn.

Wayne Barrett disagreed with the New York Post's journalistic standards. David Horowitz disagreed with ours.

Brooklyn got a taste of Fred Phelps' homo- (and Obama-) hatin' lunacy. Some locals got keys to Habitat for Humanity homes. 50 Cent partied in Queens. The MTA loosened up, let developers make iPhone apps for train schedules, and promised digital signs in the stations.

An off-duty cop ran down a young girl. He was observed to be drunk, but his blood alcohol report was negative. Graham Rayman questioned the timing. Najibullah Zazi was indicted for an alleged beauty-bomb plot. The guy who stabbed a man in a midtown sidewalk dispute was photographed, named, and found dead in a bathtub. A robber fled court but was returned. And David Letterman took down a sextortionist.

Corruption on the waterfront and in the housing department was also noted.

A Russian tycoon expressed interest in the Brooklyn Nets. Hugh Jackman chastised a chatty audience member. 9/11 was banned from the Bernie Kerik trial. Norman Hsu went down.

RIP William Safire, Clifton Maloney, Steve Mantin, and this week.

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