5 Things To Ruin Your Thanksgiving
But we're perhaps over-sensitive. To follow are the five things most likely to ruin your annual celebration of the white interlopers' cruel betrayal of their Native American hosts. Beware:
5. Turducken. We originally thought this gruesome chicken-inside-a-duck-inside-a-turkey was an urban legend, but apparently it's for real. "Turducken costs $75.95 each," says a Publix assistant meat department manager in Alabama, "but they're all seasoned and stuffed and ready to cook Cajun style." And it's recommended by Jeremiah Weed, "patron father of Jeremiah Weed Sweet Tea, Jeremiah Weed Bourbon Liqueur, and the recently introduced Jeremiah Weed Bourbon," whose palate is probably ruined from long days at the plant. Also a fan: WWE Superstar Mark Henry. "I probably could eat a whole one by myself," he declared. If they pitch this to you, turduck!