Oh, All Right, We Give: Tiger Woods Affair Mistress Celebrity Nude Scandal
"If Tiger Woods hit the windshield when he smashed up his Cadillac Escalade," updates the Orlando Sentinel, "...he didn't do so hard enough to break the glass." So where'd he get the lacerations? Doctors want medical records, hint at domestic violence. If he were a football player, this would be amusing, but he's a golfer -- they're the sensitive poets of sport. Arnie's Army was actually a team of bodyguards. Look it up!
All right, lets switch to deepthink: the Times sees "A Wedge [ha!] Between Woods and the Public." Various experts advise Woods and the media. Our two cents: cooperate with police, and announce you are a gay American. That always throws them off.
Finally, "Elin Nordegren Tiger's Wife Fake Nude Photos." Ah: closure.