There Is a Bearded Dude In a Dress Currently Screaming "I Am the Master of All Reindeer" Outside Our Offices

Noah Bristol

While we here at 36 Cooper Square have all gotten used to our uniquely daft brand of Bowery-runoff foot traffic--pimply NYU dross, sallow-faced post-methadone junkies, Adam Duritz--this particular act of public stupidity caught our attention because: 1) Mr. Reindeer Master is using his plastic artic animal not as some Sancho Panza sidekick, but a useless weapon against some invisible enemy; 2) Mr. Reindeer Master would be guaranteed a much larger audience, say, a block away beside the Astor Place Cube, or in the endless parade that is St. Mark's, but has instead chosen a tiny triangle sliver of concrete across the street from our offices as his platform; 3) This isn't Bedford and North 7th, where these sorts of characters are a dime a dozen; 4) Mr. Reindeer Master appears to be wearing a bra.

As it turns out, his name is Matthew Silver, and like every other bitch in this town, he's selling something. It is, of course, himself: ManinWhiteDress.com. Let his YouTube description take it away. "I make films, I perform. I consider myself an experimental, absurd, farting, clown." And because we're feeling especially generous on Friday, here's the name of his upcoming project: "Love Comes Out of Your Butt." Congratulations, asshole, here's your publicity.