The 20 Most-Read Village Voice Stories of 2009
Barring a massive surge of readership between now and Thursday night (and with Michael Musto half-naked on this week's cover, anything is possible), we can safely say that the following stories generated the most interest from our readers this year. (And watch out for #3 -- it's definitely Not Safe For Work!)
Going in reverse order:
#20. Live-Blogging American Idol
Ray Mickshaw / FOX
Once again, Sharyn Jackson provided Idol coverage this year at our music blog, Sound of the City, and interest peaked for the March 18 results show. The night before, Adam Lambert had bombed on Country Night, and it looked like he wasn't even going to make the final 11! As we all know, the mascaraed one ultimately placed second in the contest and then went on to greater glory pulling a guy's face into his crotch at the American Music Awards in November. (We still can't help wondering if that raunchy display was a direct response to Michael Musto's taunting of Lambert for trying to tamp-down his gayness on a cover shoot for Out magazine.)
Roy Edroso hit a nerve with half a dozen stunning passages from Sarah Palin's bestseller that he somehow obtained before the book hit store shelves. There was this gem about election night, for example: I never heard so many bleepity-bleeps and blankety-blanks as I heard while I was waiting to go out on that stage in Phoenix. It was like I was at a dad-gum fancy-house in Fairbanks instead of a Republican Party event, and I tried to ask ol' John about it, but he was shaking his wife by the shoulders and talking in Vietnamese again, so I couldn't get any relief from him, and his minders were all poking at my family with sticks like they were bears and telling them things like, "Get back in your trailer, you stupid snowbillies."
"The most eagerly anticipated (as well as the most beleaguered) movie of the year (if not the century), Watchmen is neither desecratory disaster nor total triumph," announced our chief film critic J. Hoberman back in March. "In filming David Hayter and Alex Tse's adaptation of the most ambitious superhero comic book ever written, director Zack Snyder has managed to address the cult while pandering to the masses." Ouch. Well, for a list of what 2009 films Hoberman did like, check out his yearly top ten list (which this year went to 11!).
Over the last few weeks, genius music writers Maura Johnston and Christopher Weingarten counted down the 50 worst songs of the 00's. Naturally, the entry that drew the most attention was the absolute bottom of that stinky barrel, the very worst song of the entire ten-year span. And Johnston and Weingarten left no doubt how they felt about it: When "Big Yellow Taxi" appeared, it wasn't because Counting Crows didn't have any ideas. (Though it wouldn't be too surprising if Adam Duritz's pea-sized brain was 85% dreadlocks, 10% water, and 5% actress phone numbers.) "Big Yellow Taxi" exists because the same nation that re-elected President Bush and demanded a sequel to Beverly Hills Chihuahua practically pisses their sweatpants at the idea of a modicum of change. "Big Yellow Taxi" is a song that didn't need to be remade the first seven times, but Counting Crows figured it was easier to record it than rob a bank. It's Alvin & The Chimpmunks without CGI and shit-eating--except in the case of "Big Yellow Taxi," the CGI is the glossy purr of Vanessa Carlton, and the shit-eating happens whenever we have to hear this song at the dentist or at Walgreens or inside a dingy Guantanamo Bay cell.
Next: Tom Cruise politely asks an ashtray to take a seat...