The Wit and Wisdom of David Paterson
Today he's in Cindy Adams' Post column -- where comedians' press-agents typically plant gags with their clients' names on them:
The two of us share an ongoing slightly unclassy joke dealing with his first night ever sleeping in Albany's Executive Mansion bedroom where, in the middle of the night, the day-old Gov. couldn't find the john. So at this party I whispered for fun: "Have you peed yet tonight?" and he whispered back: "No, because I'm waiting to do it when the Legislature is under me."Ba dum bum. But wait, there's more: the other day, referring to his 2010 run, he said, "If it doesn't work out, I'm going to go on The View. They need a little affirmative action on The View."
And the laughs keep coming:
On shaving his beard before shaving his mustache: "Additional deficit means additional cutting, and it's likely before the end of this process you will see me bald."
On how he came to make a surprise appearance at a Scott Murphy fundraiser: "We were in the neighborhood, looking for a place that was open to have a little drink."
On Rush Limbaugh leaving New York because of taxes: "If I knew that would be the result, I would've thought about the taxes earlier."
Reporter: "Have you ever patronized a prostitute?" Paterson: "Only the lobbyists."
"The way [Planned Parenthood president] Cecile Richards rushed up to me before, for a moment I thought she was Caroline Kennedy."
After a long night of long speeches, leaving few attendees for his address to the Democratic National Convention in 2008, Paterson began, "Thank you, my time is up."
Questioned about "hidden taxes," Paterson said, "They're not so hidden if you know about them."
You didn't get this kind of thing from Hugh Carey. Given his chances in the next election, we suggest Paterson string a bunch of these together, make an act of them, and begin work a new career. Photo (cc) cyvanceforda.