Why This Decade Sucked, Reasons #6-#3: Clothes, Yankees, Mets, Racism

We will, in the closing days of this wretched decade, list the Top Ten reasons why it sucked. We're behind schedule, so here are four for the price of one. Previous reasons here, here, here, and here.

6. Fashion: We stopped trying, outsourced our clothing trends to stars. 50's: Pegged pants, poodle skirts. 70s: Elephant bells, blow-dried hair. You can easily spot other decades by their fashions. They weren't always pretty, but they showed people were at least trying.

So how will costume designers recreate the '00s? By dressing actors in styles from other decades -- because that's what we did: now hippie, now grungey, now neo-wave, now Flashdance: We seemed to grab everything off other eras' racks. Our signature innovations: the butt crack and the trucker cap. And the snuggie.

Not even New York magazine could make anything out of this shit. No wonder Lady Gaga is so popular: she wore all the distinctive clothing for us.

5. The Yankees. We thought we were rid of them at last. The Diamondbacks throwing Schilling and Johnson (in relief) at them in Game 7 2001 was like the H-Bomb at Hiroshima; we expected no championships would ever grow in Yankee Stadium again. When the Red Sox stunned them with four straight wins to come back from 0-3 in the 2004 ALCS, and went on to reverse the curse of the Babe, it seemed like destiny.

And then, without warning and without Joe Torre, they came back in 2009, in their new boondoggle stadium, to ruin the '00s like they ruined the '90s. Fuckers.

4. The Mets. That they even got to the 2000 Series was miraculous, so we figured more miraculous things were in store. And they were! Who knew they could choke so catastrophically in the stretch two seasons in a row? Who knew they could acquire so much great talent and produce zero championships? Even God seems to hate them now. Plus they have a boondoggle stadium, too -- named after a bailed-out bank. Fuckers.

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