Nude Jogger Threatens White House; Reagan Grandson Taken Into Custody

At last, a threat to America's security has been swiftly dealt with. A man who was jogging nude near the White House last night was apprehended at the scene and taken into custody. The President was in residence, but there is no indication that he was affected. The jogger's bag was found to contain no high explosives, and a link to Al Qaeda has not been definitely established.

In other Presidential news, Cameron Reagan (pictured), son of conservative commentator Michael Reagan and grandson of Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the United States, was detained and charged with resisting arrest at his own home in Van Nuys, California early this morning. It is believed that Reagan, 31, inadvertently tripped a security alarm.

Cops responding to the alarm say Reagan was "belligerent." "Where is the American Civil Liberties Union when Cameron Reagan is tackled in his own driveway?" asks Michael Reagan. Cameron Reagan, a former homeless person and model with stolen property and marijuana raps, was reported held on $10,000 bail. Photo via Exxcel Model Talent.