Tiger Woods Inspires Messy Ejaculations from the Press

• Tiger cheating on his spouse is 1 of those things I'll never understand. She is amazingly attractive. It is really really shocking that he got away with it for as long as he did though.

• Stop the Tiger Woods media blitz! Most Americans don't care about his bullsheets!!! We care about our families and the economy, not the rich and famous from the tabloids sitting by the toilet. I don't want my kids to know who this person is. They can read about him on the internet some day. Personally, I don't give a rats asset about the affairs of some rich celeb idiot in the gossip grapevine... Take this off my TV. I am sick of the media now. Isn't there enough important issues in the news for these poor reporters to cover. what smucks they arespreading gossip smut... imho of course

• Comment after being force fed a Video of Tiger�s Recent Speech and Comments by Media Executioners: This is prime material for comedy especially by a penetrating, see-all-sides-of-it, perhaps genius black comedian. Tiger looks like a captured hound dog, who was simply enjoying his impulses, being whipped into shape by a dog owner who does not believe that dogs should be free to roam the wild in their natural habitat but should be pets forever more and abide by rules their bodies do not understand. Think of the pet owner as the �moral� majority �media.� In some parts, and parts of history, Tiger Woods� apparently Olympic talents would have been glorified. But not in pseudo-puritan America � that�s for sure. I�m not saying that all men should have the license to cheat on their wives as much as they want without any consequences. (I�ve been a wife, and women should be just as respected as men are. Most men have �canaries� if their wives have sexual relations with other men, so women should get a little say-so too.) I�m just saying we all have totally delusional concepts about the nature of the human beast. To those men and women who have robust sex drives, it is often hard to understand how anything that feels so good is deemed so bad. The body says: �I want to do this. Why is this wrong as long as I am not hurting anybody? They�ll never know.� The problem is they usually WILL know sooner or later. And this is where Buddhism, Christianity, Twelve Steps, Freudian witchdoctors, Jerry Springer, Cheaters, golf endorsements, money for the media, and paparazzi comes in. It�s like spanking a child for eating. The child sees food, feels hungry, and then he eats. �No, no, no!� cry his parents. Eating is wrong!� It looked to me like someone at Tiger�s Twelve Step (or Twenty Step?) sex addiction clinic (along with corporate endorsement people) had written the script for him, (or pumped 12 step recovery concepts into his brain day and night thru a piped-in-music-conduit,) and shoved it down his throat. I can hear the conversation now: �If you want any more endorsements, mother#*&ker, this is what you�re gonna say,� Corporate Jimmy tells him. Then: �You better mention that you need help, if you don�t want your kids and an x wife living their lives out in Sweden,� says the sex therapist/lawyer (who has gotten a second degree in law cause that�s where the money is.) �Forget about your boyish impulses , fun-loving streak, permanent hard on, and fascination with strippers, Tiger, this is AMERICA. We will go after your kids, your mother, your wife, your mother-in-law, your tarts, career, money, image - balls even - if we have to. I mean we�ve experimented on black men with syphilis in our past, we�re capable.� Meanwhile, Tiger, one of over two billion magnificent animals living here on earth (meaning the entire world population in varying shades from snow white to midnight black) is feeling: �My God, I had no idea my innocent flirtations and roles in the sack during lonely, boring nights away would cause my wife and family so much pain or that I could virtually lose my kids! In fact the media makes it a million times worse than it already is, and hurts my wife and kids the most.� The sex therapist/lawyer�s assistant (who is taking a course in media management) leans over and whispers in Tiger�s ear: after you talk, you should go over and hug your mother at the end of your speech � maybe that will illicit some sympathy and forgiveness among corporate prospects.� You can just see Tiger�s Asian Side exacting the harshest, most rigid punishments on himself, and his American Black Side thinking, what the hell, no matter what I do, I�m going to be condemned anyway, so I may as well party and enjoy my life. This squelched side of him was probably never allowed to come out except in brief moments of well, you know, climax. Even the KKK cannot stop a man from having a climax of ecstasy in the privacy of his own bedroom. That it only should have been with Elin and Elin only is debatable among many atheists, agnostics, swingers, and psychologists the world over, who encourage people to �grown and learn� and �follow their hearts� and �impulses.� Even though Tiger often seems �white� by temperament, in spite of being drafted by blacks in Dave Chappelle�s comical racial draft, and inspired to say �fershizzle��it seems clear that his execution by a predominantly white �moral� judge and executioner is reminiscent of all the non-biracial famous black men who have been lynched one way or another for doing the same thing their white brothers do or for just LWBB (living while being black). It�s true we scolded white boys Bill Clinton and David Letterman a little for straying but not quite as unanimously or fervently as Tiger Woods. Of course it will be argued that Tiger Woods had ten or twenty times more the women these other dudes had � but who can really know that for sure? It�s all a matter of what comes out. JFK �had women at every campaign stop lined up there in advance.� Can we assume there were about a hundred? Just count the campaign stops and multiply by two. The truth is that lots of men throughout history have had dozens and dozens of women while married, and never been publically taken to task for it. The degree of envy and intrigue in the populace perhaps is equal to the number of liaisons that get busted � or perhaps there is also the element of dumb luck. Dumb racism too, that is blind to its own existence. But most of all it�s about condemning when we want to and letting things go when we don�t. In other words, we think we are entitled to do and say what we want, and that rules do not apply to us. After all, we�re just a bunch of broke nobodies, and what better way to feel smug and superior than to bring down a rich, number one athlete that�s getting all the wild sex we wish were getting, if only we could, especially if he�s a �cablanasian.� Of course many of us are too saintly to even consider desiring something so base, but for the 1% of us that are not perfect saints, well, the temptation is just too great.

• If you think Tiger is a walking disaster, here's another one that has ripped off millions of people for several decades, to the tune of 10s of billions of dollars: Amway is a scam, and here's why: Amway pays out as little money as they can get away with, so they support the higher level IBOs ripping off their downline via the tool scam. As a result, about 99% of IBOs operate at a net loss, while the top 1% make several TIMES more from their Amway tool scam than from the Amway products. This was made illegal in the UK in 2008, but our FTC is unable to pull their heads out of their butts to stop it here. Read about it on my blog, I suggest you start here: http://tiny.cc/D5oJh and forward the information to everyone you know, so they don't get scammed.

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