Tea Party Upstaged by Thai Party, Which Serves Actual Blood

Categories: Featured, Protest
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The Tea Party protesters -- who believe themselves the true heirs of Patrick Henry and other martyrs for freedom -- are preparing for a day of anti-health-care protests in D.C. They call the event "The People's Surge Against Obamacare 2.0" and say they will "storm Capitol Hill" this morning. "We will not be ignored," cries Barbara Klain of the Boston Tea Party.

Actually, you will: The big news in bold, futile gestures today is the protesters in Thailand, who actually drew their own blood and poured it on the ground.

"We will curse them with our blood and our soul!" yelled one protester (in Thailand, we mean). "Clumps of coagulated blood clung to the pavement," reports the Times.

The "Red Shirts," as they're called, are part of a group of thousands that has occupied the streets of the Thai capital for days. They are protesting the government of Abhisit Vejjajiva, who took power after an actual coup, rather than being elected with 53 percent of the vote like our alleged socialist dictator, Barack Obama.

That has to burn the ass of all those guys in tricorner hats who thought their march on Washington would fire the imaginations of all their fellow citizens. You just can't compete with people who literally spill their own blood.

Even more irritating: Congressional Democrats plan to receive the protesters cordially and offer them snacks and coffee. How can we be Patrick Henry, dammit, if y'all won't act like tyrants?

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