A Half Bottle of Wine a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

You know how scientists are always warning us that a glass of wine is fine, even good for you, but don't chug the whole bottle, even if it's clearly going to go bad and that's just wasteful? Well, actually, a group of French researchers have found that people who suck down half a bottle of wine a day are healthier than teetotallers, reports the Daily Mail.

Those who enjoyed three glasses of wine a day tended to take more exercise, have a higher social status, and suffer from less stress, according to researchers.

So, technically, drinking wine doesn't make you healthy, you're just healthier if you're the type of person who chooses to drink wine. But then again, drinking wine does make you healthy!

The analysis showed those who drank moderately were more likely to have lower cardiovascular disease risk, heart rate, stress, depression, and body mass index. They also scored higher on health measures such as respiratory function and physical activity.

Also, women who drank had smaller waists. Seriously.

According to the study's author, "Moderate alcohol consumption is a powerful general indicator of optimal social status." Wow.

However, drinking more than sensible amounts of alcohol does not offer any protection and can cause high blood pressure, stroke, some cancers, and damage to your heart.

Blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, researchers have found that "bad habits" like smoking, drinking, using drugs, and overeating are actually effective coping tools that help prevent depression -- that is, until they kill you.