New York City Cares about You and Your Butt Implant

Thanks for caring, NYC! Yesterday we got a nice little note from the Health Department, warning us that going to unlicensed, non-medical providers for cosmetic surgery or body enhancement procedures is probably not so good for your health, or your face. Apparently, this is a trend:

The agency has received and investigated several complaints of illegal medical practices in recent months. In February, eight women from New Jersey were infected with the bacterium Nocardia after receiving injections of unknown substances from unlicensed practitioners. In March, a Queens woman was hospitalized for a serious infection after undergoing liposuction by a salon operator without a medical license.

Though the recent reports of infections all involved Latina women, the Health Department warns us that "adverse reactions from illegal medical procedures can affect anyone." Also, there are probably some people out there who never admitted to their botched butt job, since that's kind of embarrassing and not the kind of thing you talk about in mixed company.

So, everybody, let's all repeat: If you want a little lipo, a little butt-lift, a little nip and tuck -- go to an actual surgeon, please, not the guy you met at the bar who does "odd jobs" and claims to be handy with a knife, or your next-door-neighbor the butcher who "freelances" in his basement. Yeah, it might be cheaper, but you could end up with some complications.

Practitioners have been known to use unapproved substances that can cause infections, nerve damage, respiratory and kidney failure, irreversible disabilities, disfigurement and death. Unlicensed practitioners may also lack the precautions needed to avoid spreading infections such as HIV, and Hepatitis B and C.

Death: So not pretty. Nor is being made fun of on national TV by a callous news announcer as you show off your damaged buttocks.