Today in Awesome New York Signage: the Jersey Couture Tuna Cheddar Melt
Lean in close and let's take a listen:
O-face lady: Um, that's not couture. Even if you are wearing a boobalicious black dress and some big old fake diamonds, just like me.
Tuna lady: But look at my thigh-high hooker boots -- you know, the ones made famous by Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman? Her safety-pin skirt was hot. And you're wearing Uggs, even if America can't see them.
O-face lady: Whatever. My mixed-media sleeve and mannequin arm are awesome.
Tuna lady: Did you say something? My ears are all clogged up. Also, something smells funny.
O-face lady: I haven't been able to smell since my nose job in '85. By the way, there's a creepy little dude behind you. You might want to beat him about the face with your dubious breasts before he makes you wear something florescent.
Tuna lady: I'll just leave my arm dangling awkwardly over the edge of this hideous leopard print settee so that when he comes close he trips on it. And then we can laugh.
O-face lady: Jersey girls possess the wisdom of one million Yodas. By the way, sweetie, I think your cheese is showing.
More subtly compelling is the Dunkin' Donuts sign, which seems to us to imply that capitalism is everywhere, democracy is dead, and tuna sandwiches and coffee are a $2.99 match made in heaven. Or not.
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