General McChrystal Relieved of Command; Will Probably Show Up as MTV Twitter Jockey

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Word is that General McChrystal, formerly the top U.S. commander and strategist for Afghanistan, now of "Can't Keep His Mouth Shut Around Magazine Reporters" infamy, has been fired by President Obama after a 30-minute-long meeting today, per ABC News. General David Petraeus will replaced him. Obama is expected to make an announcement as to the decision later today.

McChrystal admitted during his round of phone calls to top Obama administration officials that he had "compromised the mission," a senior administration source told ABC News.

More explicit apology forthcoming, as is so de rigueur these days? We shall see. However, if Eliot Spitzer's new show on CNN (which will replace that of Campbell Brown, who never hired a hooker or talked shit about the POTUS to a music magazine, so far as we know) is any indication, second chances are everywhere.

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