Alleged Brett Favre Three-Way Involves Cock, Camera Phone, and a Pair of Lonely Crocs
This morning Deadspin released what may or may not be a true story of yet another horny athlete (seriously, what are these guys eating for breakfast?). The tawdry tale concerns Brett Favre (you know, will-he-or-won't-he? Brett Farve), a boobalicious young lady (The Daily Line's Jenn Sterger), and some illicit and incriminating camera phone photos.
According to A.J. Daulerio at Deadspin, Sterger, a former Florida State Cowgirl, Maxim and Playboy model, and in-house sideline reporter for the Jets, has received numerous cell phone pictures of Brett Favre's very own penis. And,
In one of the photos Favre allegedly sent her, he's masturbating -- while wearing a pair of Crocs. In another photo, Favre is holding his penis while wearing the wristwatch he wore during his first teary-eyed retirement press conference.
Wait, can you repeat that?
In one of the photos Favre allegedly sent her, he's masturbating -- while wearing a pair of Crocs.
Oh, holy bestial godforsaken hell.
Frankly, we could care less whether Favre is digitally uploading his masturbation pics and sending them to an ex-cheerleader, or even Madeleine Albright, although that would be amusing (and we'd request he CC us for future blog posts). The fact is, this story sadly captures an all-too-believable note, somewhere between pathetic and so obvious, for an aging married sports star, presuming it's true, or for a woman who wants to claim fame via an aging sports star, if it isn't. (In Stenger's defense, she apparently at least initially did not want to go on the record with this story.)
But back to the point: We are floored, floored, by this alleged Crocs-wearing and use of the shoes during a masturbatory incident. Floored. Sure, they're easy to clean, perhaps, but...Wrong. This is wrong.
Crocs, widely considered "a family shoe," must have something to say about this. We contacted them and will update with any news. In the meantime, we'll be trying to eradicate the image of certain orange Mario Batali plastic wedges having a starring role in any form of sex play -- digital, manipulated, or otherwise.