Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston as Over as That Mangled Old Copy of Us Weekly
Alas! Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have called things off "for good," begging such questions as, what do you do with the Us Weekly cover in which you announced your engagement to the world when everything goes south again with your Baby Daddy (who isn't just your Baby Daddy but also the alleged Baby Daddy of at least one other young lady)? Do you go try to wrestle the issue from the hands of assorted nail salon owners? Frame it and put it in your "memory box"? Or trash that old thing and get on the phone with People, stat?
Oh, it's the latter, via which we learn that the relationship went bad on the very day they announced it to all of America, and probably even the world. We were celebrating, and they were fighting. How untoward! In fact, Levi chose that very night, the night we slept with the issue under our pillow to hope for good luck in our own relationship life, to tell his two-time fiancee that he might have impregnated someone else (the girl denied it, but timing, dude)!
"The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family," Bristol told People. "He's just obsessed with the limelight and I got played."
At any rate, here's a chance for the Palin fam to re-bond with each other, and for Kathy Griffin to get her boyfriend back.
"I wish for Bristol to be able to move forward in life with her same forgiving, gracious, optimistic spirit, but from henceforth she'll know to trust but verify. Bristol is strong, she is independent, and she knows what is right for her son."
Refudiate the bad boys, Bris! Or as Ronald Reagan used to say, "Trust but verify!" Good for Soviet or Alaskan relations.