Bros Icing Bros: "Tecate Bukkake" or "Wizard's Staff," The Next Generation?

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Ever hear of the insipid urban drinking terrorism ritual known as Bros Icing Bros? It's a game that involves your friends, your friends being frat-boys/patronizing the supposed behavior of frat-boys (thereby inadvertently exhibiting frat-boy behavior themselves), and The Worst Malt Liquor Drink in The History of Bottled Piss, Smirnoff Ice.

Last time we -- your Bros Icing Bros breakthrough anthropologists -- checked in with Bros Icing Bros, it would appear not only had Diageo/Smirnoff shut down the official site, but they had also pissed in the face of all the media who decided to help out their non-viral non-marketing campaign that was The Will of the People (until otherwise noted by them). Surely, "Icings" have still taken place, though not in association with the Original Bros (or as we call them here, "Bro Zero") of Bros Icing Bros Dot Com, but has anything stepped in to take its place?

Via Free Williamsburg, meet Tecate Bukkake. As they note:

A gender studies graduate student could definitely write a dissertation about the possibility of feminine empowerment via a typically male dominated substance as demonstrated in this video.

And they are not wrong:

It would appear the object of the game is to "shotgun" Tecate beers onto your friends. The East Village's Cherry Tavern -- home to the infamous "Tijuana Special," where $6 will get you a Tecate, a shot of bottom-shelf tequila, and the privilege of hanging out with some of the biggest dirtbags in New York, like me -- could make a killing off of this if they decided to let it happen. So far, it'd appear no sophisticated ranking systems or evidence of celebrity participants (like Bros Icing Bros) have been sprung from the "game," but I mean, at the very least, anything's better than Smirnoff Ice. It's time for that game to be vanquished for good, and destruction, as we all know, breeds creation.

The other possibility to replace Bros Icing Bros -- especially in the Greater New York Area -- is a game I recently got wind of as relayed to me by That One Waitress at Miller's Tavern called Wizard's Staff. She told me they used to play it in Knoxville where she once bartended. Here's how it works:

1. Give someone ready to get dangerously drunk duct tape.
2. Watch them start drinking canned beers.
3. Every time they open a new can of beer, they tape it to the top of the last beer they finished.
4. Once the "staff" is equal to or greater than the height of the drinker in question, they are a "wizard."
5. Once you are a "Wizard," you may practice your magic on whoever you please in the bar. Your magic is basically limited to being able to stand up and stay conscious.

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Apparently, this is by no means a "new" thing. Sloshspot reported two years ago on a version of this game that involves "Leveling Up" and fighting other wizards. The best part comes in the end, though:

-Once level 10 is reached a player may refer to himself in the third person, and may find squires to do his/he bidding. Wizards may now command others to get them more wizard juice (beer), etc.

Please, please, please drinking gods, let Wizard's Staff catch on, so we may finally vanquish the terror that is Bros Icing Bros.

[fkamer@villagevoice.com | On Twitter]


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