Park Slope Zombie Geese Returning in Droves to Make Up for Fallen Comrades
In the epic battle of humans vs. geese, it seems that geese have a win. A little more than a month after the mass gassing of some 400 Prospect Park geese that included the goosicide of folk hero Sticky, the birds are back like part two of a good zombie movie. We imagine they are none too happy with the humans who murdered all of their friends.
According to the New York Times, 107 new geese have moved into the lake at Prospect Park. And they already have their flight feathers! Presumably if they, too, are gassed to prevent them from accidentally flying into and bringing down planes, more geese will simply rise up to fill the void. So will the city keep gassing, or give up the goose? (Sorry.)
New York City parks commissioner Henry Stern says we should only kill the geese if we can actually pin some moral fault upon them: "We don't want any geese to jeopardize human life -- we don't value geese over people," he said to the Times. "But you would have some sort of explanation and some sort of certainty or knowledge that these geese are guilty."
We have to assume, knowing what we do about living creatures, that except for some wayward soul or two, the geese don't want to fly into planes any more than they want to be gassed. Unless they're insane, or actual zombies, in which case decapitation, bludgeoning, burning, and exploding work better than gassing. Or so we hear.