Polo Ralph Lauren Makes Shoppable Children's Book Starring Harry Connick Jr.

The messenger boy accent hat spells the future!

​It's never too early to get the youth hooked on luxury designer fashion, which is why Polo Ralph Lauren is going live with an online children's book complete with add-to-cart clickables next to each character's outfits, reports the Wall Street Journal. Now your child can learn how to read and seal their fate a credit card debtors all at once! We love happy endings.

The RL Gang, as it is titled, is narrated by Harry Connick Jr. (?!), and tells the tale of eight multicultural children dressed to the American Prep nines as they "embark" on the journey of their first day of school in a world that is painted in watercolor.

According to LookBooks, the narrative relates a teacher reading "The Incredible Book of Fantastic Things" to his class, a story that develops into a fantasy world where the kids must rescue a dying tree by watering it and ends (SPOILER ALERT!) with all the little children sharing the tree's newly saved apples.

But the real story, obviously, is in the clothes! "Each click leads you to the character's virtual closet," says LookBooks, "where you will find all the items plus other pieces from the fall collection on sale."

The story will also be sold, for some reason, as an unshoppable print copy at Bloomingdale's, so adolescent consumers everywhere can fall asleep to the sound of their parents reading shameless product placement at their bedside. "Goodnight, moon!" they'll say, "goodnight, tartan polo oxford!"

Here's the cover provided by WWD:

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That tie on Chuck Bass Jr. in the middle costs $59.50. And that butch number on Sandra Dee there comes in at $115. Because children, who build castles in sandboxes and aren't afraid of mud worms, will totally keep the additional dry cleaning bill in mind.