Prop 8, Michelle Obama, Ground Zero Mosque: Are Conservatives Basically The Honky Party?
There was also rightblogger outrage, also expected, that Michelle Obama and her daughters had a swell, privately-funded vacation in Spain, instead of maybe just going down to Wildwood, New Jersey or something else better befitting their station.
And of course rightbloggers were not-unexpectedly enraged that Muslims were planning a mosque in a spot in downtown Manhattan where you could almost see Ground Zero.
All this raises a question: Is conservatism in America today basically a white people's movement?
(We realize a lot of gay people are white, but we assume that a self-consciously white movement would not identify strongly with such people -- at least not for long.)
Rightbloggers didn't like Judge Walker's ruling at all, and some of the small fry, who had no credibility to protect, went straight to the blood-and-thunder route ("With the stroke of his pen, 'gay' Judge Walker overruled the votes, and moral consciences of 7 million Californians... To further the 'gay' illusion, the supposedly evolved males dress like females," aargh blaargh etc).
But even when they pretended that the gay part wasn't really what bothered them -- and assured us it was more about fairness, and activist judges, and the precious ownership of the word "marriage" -- their gay panic became, to coin a phrase, flaming.
"An activist judge in California overturned Prop. 8 (banning gay marriage) yesterday to no one's surprise," groused Kathleen McKinley at Right Wing News. Nonetheless, she portrayed the victorious pink team as the ones who were getting their knickers in a twist.
"No conservative I know of gives one whit whether two men or two women pick out plate patterns at Macys," she claimed. "They not only don't care, but are for the right of anyone to choose who gets their benefits..."
As the word "marriage" clearly cannot be shared with homosexuals, McKinley proposed a compromise: "Simply call gay marriage a civil union," she reasoned. "Those that see marriage as sacred would feel better, and gays who simply want the same rights as married heterosexuals, would have them." (No they wouldn't.)
But "sadly," wrote McKinley, pro-gay "activists... just refuse to let" this no-gay-marriage solution to gay marriage happen. "The fight goes on," she sighed. "And no one wins." (Meaning, she didn't.)
You have to love these guys -- they've just suffered a major setback, yet they're still setting terms. It's sort of like Monty Python's limbless Black Knight offering to call it a draw.
Others complained of their own, largely psychological oppression by gay people who were punishing them for their anti-marriage stand with dirty looks and such like.
"...you just can't get through to some people," mourned Sister Toldjah, "especially those (mainly on the rad-left) who believe you are 'bigoted' and 'homophobic' for not supporting [gay marriage]. Been there, done that, got the battle scars." Sadly Sister Toldjah didn't provide pictures of these "battle scars," nor even cartoons of the sort psychologists get their patients to draw to express their inner turmoil.
Something similar was expressed by Road Sassy, who complained that he had been "attacked" by a "twitter conservative" as an "intolerant fundie because I hold a certain opinion of homosexuality." That certain opinion, we find further down, is that "homosexual marriage is favored by the Left because of this nihilistic instinct, because of its potential to dismantle a natural-law-based, Judeo-Christian Civilization. Monogamous, heterosexual, child-centered marriage is the building block of the Left-detested real world it is bent on annihilating." Why can't those gay bigots accept such reasoned arguments in good faith?
Patterico's Pontifications took the oh-yeah-well-Obama-is-against-gay-marriage-you-stupid-liberals position. But he must have noticed that this wasn't slowing the party down any, because he also tried suggesting that Walker, who is gay, flouted the law for his own benefit ("Judge Vaughn Walker now has the right to marry another man, if he wishes"). When Patterico's gay neighbors still wouldn't turn the music down, he did the one about the decision being "crammed down [the people's] throats" -- a popular favorite among conservatives for obvious reasons. (5,440 results on Google! That's shows either strong message discipline, or a pretty reflexive association of judicial activism with cocksucking.)
Still the music played. Eventually Patterico suggested that Republican governor Arnold Schwarzenegger purposefully lost the case via "sabotage by sloppy or disinterested litigation," then said that courts were not the place to "resolve contentious issues in the culture wars" -- that is, not the place to rule on issues of Constitutional rights. Why, we're still suffering the aftermath of Brown vs. Board of Education and other such examples of judicial overreach.
This judicial-overreach angle was popular with rightbloggers. It sounds lots more respectable than the traditional buttsecks-ick argument -- though with some improvisation it can be just as entertaining. "I, for one, am thankful that our Progressive Overlords, for example, Judge Walker, and Judge Bolton know what's best for us," railed Robert Stacy McCain. "If only their wisdom had prevailed in 1776. We could have kept the pound, the King, and now be enjoying rugby and cricket." Wait -- they had gay marriage in pre-Revolutionary America? Why didn't Walker mention this in his decision?
Inevitably some gay conservatives were rounded up to say they didn't want no marriage equality nohow. Gay Patriot B. Daniel Blatt was incensed that the judge compared the ban on gay marriage to anti-miscegnation laws. The latter, said Blatt, were a mere "statutory invention" -- mixed-race marriages had existed previously, after all, whereas same sex marriages never had. Well, he had to admit, that wasn't quite right, but when two guys shacked up in olden tymes, "they either called them something other than marriage," he wrote, "or required that one spouse live in the guise of the opposite sex." Surely you can spot the butch partner in The Killing of Sister George, and the femme in Staircase? Gay Patriot rests his case!
Founding Bloggers discovered, with evident delight, two gay Tea Party members who were also against gay marriage -- which, like the similarly rare discovery of black Tea Partiers, was a great get for the TP PR unit. These fellows claimed abuse at the hands of their non-conservative gay brethren: "I'm had people not talk to me," one of them said, and "purposely bump into me." (Like Sister Toldjah, he did not show visual evidence.) "We were getting yelled at," said the other. "...you go to a gay bar, you get kicked out almost." "Not quite kicked out," admitted the other one. "Socially ostracized." Maybe they and Sister Toldjah should form a support group!