Apple's Nu-Censorship: Freedom From Porn and Freedom From Farting
Apple's irritatingly named "App Store" has plenty of applications you can buy for your phone, none of which have porn on them, because Steve Jobs is trying to save the world from porn. [Full Disclosure: We are not.] He is also, apparently, now trying to save the world from farts.
Remember when Gawker's Ryan Tate had a heated email exchange with Apple's de-facto cult leader by-way-of-CEO Steve Jobs about the way he controls content in the App Store? Tate asked Jobs about how a personal (and typical) idol of hypocritical baby-boomer Steve Jobs' -- Bob Dylan -- would feel about the way Apple does business. Tate noted that Jobs kept calling the iPad a "revolution" which is counterintuitive to the idea that "revolutions are about freedom," which the App Store inherently negs via censorship. Jobs' response?
Yep, freedom from programs that steal your private data. Freedom from programs that trash your battery. Freedom from porn. Yep, freedom.
The rest of the now-classic email correspondence is still on Gawker, but it would appear that Jobs is taking consumers' "freedom" even further these days. The Wall Street Journal took note of specific parts of the now-public guidelines for submitting "apps" to the App Store, one part of which is:
"We have over 250,000 apps in the App Store. We don't need any more Fart apps. If your app doesn't do something useful or provide some form of lasting entertainment, it may not be accepted."
In what society is farting not a form of lasting -- if not, in fact, often tragically fleeting -- entertainment? In Jobs', apparently. Less farting, less porn, more 9/11 and DoodleJump, please. As for Steve Jobs' affection for Bob Dylan? Maybe not so much anymore now that the legendary singer-songwriter allowed for "Subterranean Homesick Blues" to be licensed for this swell Google ad:
For the record, you can now use Google to find both farts and porn exponentially faster.