Chilean Miners Wives Officially Very Horny

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The Chilean miners' wives are taking no chances. Because the only thing worse than your husband only very nearly escaping death and being trapped underground with the fingers of insanity clutching at him for more than two months is him coming out to find out that you haven't kept yourself groomed.

But never fear: The Telegraph reports that the miner's wives are leaving their prayerful vigils at the mine to, you know, hit up the hair salon for some coloring and whatnot. Because this has been hard for them, too. Also, it's been a while.

"After two months living in a tent I was looking old, tired, and unfashionable and thought I deserved a new look," said 51 year-old Lilianet Ramirez, running her fingers through her newly coloured and coiffered locks.

Ladies, ladies, ladies. He's been living in a dark hole and hasn't seen daylight in two months, much less a woman. We're doubting he's going to notice your new hairdo. But if it makes you feel good...

Another miner's wife bought a new pair of jeans and got a massage along with a haircut and color treatment. She's also planning liposuction, even though this is clearly a time when one can get away with a little errant flab. And some of the other women folk have been offered lingerie by a very giving shop owner -- including nurse, schoolgirl, bunny, sailor, and little red riding hood outfits -- to "treat their men when they emerge from the deep."

Okay, we're all happy that everybody's getting out okay, and we understand your excitement and need to "reconnect." But nobody needs to escape their two-month-long stint in underground man jail only to have a heart attack. Also, really, little red riding hood?

Now, what's going to happen when that one miner confronts his mistress and his wife at the same time? Lifetime, you better be filming this.

[via The Telegraph]


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