Chilean Miners Didn't Have Steamy, Trapped Sex

Sunday's Daily Mail has the "amazing first interview" with the "undisputed star of the Chilean mine rescue," Mario Sepulveda. The second miner to surface after 69 days underground, Sepulveda has been dubbed "Super Mario" by the press, who just cannot get enough of this story. Surely, as many have speculated, they'll be on Oprah in no time, but for now, it's the salacious Mail, who probably paid the miner for his time. But that means he was also subjected to ludicrous lines of questioning, like the one about the "Brokeback Mountain style moments" underground.

The miners agreed upon a Pact of Silence regarding the 17 days before rescue workers made contact. According to Sepulveda, the "younger, less educated" men had a hard time with the harsh reality of their situation. They "cried like babies" and refused to get out of bed, though Sepulveda remains mum on the specifics of that time. "It was a pact of brotherhood," he said.

But he would address the absurd sex rumors (which may or may not have even existed in the first place). Via the Mail:

I tell Mario about the rumours that had circulated around the campfires in Camp Hope -- the village that sprang up at the minehead filled with family members and Press -- that the miners had some 'Brokeback Mountain' type moments and that is why they signed the Pact of Silence. He says: 'No, nothing like that ever went on. We were too busy trying to survive to think of sex.

'We didn't really even talk about sex. We spoke of our wives and we made some jokes but we never talked about sex seriously because that would have been too painful.'

Rest assured, though, that the hopes of juicy, homosexual escapades in the dirt will not go away so easily. In their report of the Mail interview, the New York Daily News reprints Sepulveda's denial, but only after splashing a grainy, shirtless pictures of the miners across the top. This is the best you're going to get, the News seems to be saying, so the rest is up to your imagination. Or just be patient for the inevitable porn.