MEMO TO BRUCE McMAHAN, DAUGHTER-SEDUCER (UPDATED)
See, with Linda's cheek swab sample, the lab was able to confirm that the sticky residue on the sex toy Schutt had found in her luggage contained examples of her skin cells. (Ew, right?) But there were other cells there, too. So what did the lab do?
It did a paternity test. That's right, the lab was able to show with almost total certainty (99.9891 percent!) that the sperm cells on the vibrator were those of Linda's biological father.
That's you, buddy.
So, by the time Kelly Cramer wandered into the Miami federal court to have a look-see in 2006, there was an algae-bloom of scum-filled documents padding court files from one end of the country to the other. You were suing Linda. She was suing you. Her husband, Sargent, was suing you, and you were suing him and his dad. You were even suing Linda's new boyfriend in California, the one she had taken up with after she and Schutt split permanently.
And now the whole thing was going to come out in a story in our newspaper, New Times Broward-Palm Beach, as well as in its sister-publication, The Village Voice.
So what did you do? What rich people always do. You tried to silence everyone with your cash.
With just days to go before our story was to be published, you wrote checks for millions of dollars to settle all of the lawsuits and get them sealed from public view as quickly as you could. (You also hired an L.A. public relations firm in an attempt to intimidate us, and even tried to haul us into court to have legal materials pulled down from the website, but we don't scare easy, bub.)
Now, I had to admit, it was pretty smart sealing those court cases. See, I knew full well how other news organizations handle these kinds of things. Even though you were a super-rich Westchester County resident who managed hedge funds and had spent several years shtupping your own daughter and had even "married" her in Westminster Abbey, The New York Times, I knew, would never touch this story if they couldn't pull the court files on their own. And sure enough, they never have. (Kelly Cramer tells me, however, that you were never able to convince the federal judge in Connecticut to seal the case there, and Times reporters can to this day use Pacer to download some of the original documents in all their sexy glory -- they just might look up Civil No. 3:05-CV-01456, if they had any interest.)
The New York Post, God bless 'em, did put together a righteous write-up of its own, relying on our reporting, but then the Post had at least one reporter who knew all about you, and convinced editors there that you were every bit the scumbag our story made you out to be.
If the Times stayed silent, newspapers and magazines from Greece to Australia inundated us with requests for the Westminster Abbey photos and other documents.
The heat got so bad for you, we heard that you were spending a lot of time in Dubai. (Looks like you've also changed your name, slightly. Born David Bruce McMahan, you went by D. Bruce McMahan until we wrote about you. Now you're David B. McMahan, apparently.)
But we weren't done with you. Eventually, that fifth wife, Elena, wanted to tell her own tale.
At the time of our 2006 story, "Daddy's Girl," you had reconciled with her (temporarily), and she didn't want to cooperate. But a year later, she'd changed her mind.
Kelly Cramer and one of our photographers got together with Elena and took a trip up to your Pelham estate, and the result was our 2007 story, "Daddy's Dog." (Note to Wikipedia: this story appeared in the Voice, not BPB.)
Elena explained to Kelly that you restricted her to certain parts of the estate, and so Elena was unable to show us the legendary bedroom where you'd seduced Linda with Braveheart.
Elena, McMahan's fifth wife
Elena also told Kelly how you regularly threatened to have her deported or to take away the two young children you'd had with her.
The woman was terrified.
Today, Elena is telling the court that she never talked to Kelly Cramer or was photographed by the Voice at all -- that she never showed anyone your precious estate.
No doubt, this is a frightened woman's attempt to save herself and her children from whatever evil you have planned for her. My feelings certainly aren't hurt that Elena is now saying in court that the Voice made up its story out of whole cloth. It isn't true, but knowing the way you are, I don't blame Elena one bit for trying any and all legal strategies to fend off your litigious attacks.
Still, you can't help working all the angles, and you've used Elena's denials about the Voice story to try to haul me into court to defend the Voice's honor.
Nice try, moneybags.
The court saw through your little stratagem, but you're appealing the judge's decision to quash my subpoena because, well, why not? You have more money than you know what to do with.
That couldn't be more obvious seeing how much money you spent scrubbing Wikipedia. For months after our original story came out, you had your goons launch daily attacks at the website, using sock puppets and other methods to intimidate the online encyclopedia into removing any mention of what was in our stories.
For a long time, there was only the barest evidence of what we'd written, a link to Kelly's story at the bottom of your page, which was otherwise a press-release-sounding happy page about your companies.
Today, there's no page at all. As far as Wikipedia is concerned, you don't even exist.
Now that's the raw power of money for you.
Still, our original stories are maintained at both The Village Voice and New Times Broward-Palm Beach, and both websites also link to the original court exhibits, some of which I've also linked to in this piece.
If The New York Times and other news organizations will continue to ignore your sordid tale, and Wikipedia will be intimidated out of mentioning it, at least here at the Voice, you'll always be in our thoughts, Daddy.
UPDATE: Wikipedia's reason for not wanting a McMahan page? According to one of their minions, I'm a "hack."
The last time, while they were under constant attack by McMahan's lawyers, they pulled down references to our articles because, they said, The Village Voice was not a legitimate source of information for biographies of living people.
Say what? I tracked down the Wikipedia minion who had written that, who turned out to be an electrical engineer in England. He sent me some long explanations about the nature of journalism and what information is reliable. But eventually, I got him to admit that Wikipedia was wiping the McMahan page simply through fear. They were afraid of being sued by McMahan, but it was easier to say that the Voice wasn't a legitimate source. You can imagine that my respect for Wikipedia took a nosedive at that point.
This time, we get a Wikipedia minion saying that McMahan isn't "notable" and that I'm a hack. You can almost smell the fear, can't you?
Not notable? Well, OK, Wikipedia, how's this for notable. It turns out that moneybags McMahan put on a show earlier this year with his new $3 million race car, and unveiled it with the help of 2010's Playmate of the year, Hope Dworacyk. Notable enough for you?
I don't know. Hedge fund kabillionaire, noted "philanthropist," race car dreamer, Westchester County bigwig, and...oh, he married his own daughter in Westminster Abbey. Is that really not notable enough?
UPDATE 2: And now it's down. Well, we learn once again that Wikipedia is afraid of McMahan (which is fine, we don't expect others to take on these kinds of stories), but that they will continue to slime the Voice as their reason for taking down information about him.
For the benefit of Wikipedia editors, who still may not understand this situation, the Voice is doing things the old-fashioned way here. We are reporting what court documents revealed about a relationship between a very notable super-rich old guy who abused his grown daughter for years. Those facts are contained in court documents which are available here and elsewhere. Normally, that is the bedrock of what Wikipedia considers legitimate sourcing. In this case, however, McMahan's money talks.
Tony Ortega is the editor-in-chief of The Village Voice.